Beautiful disaster (completed)

Chapter 39 - Crossing the line

Kiara's pov

"So that's it then? you're really leaving?" Kabir's voice broke the tense silence, his gaze intense as he watched me fold my clothes, preparing to leave.

The past few days had stirred up too many feelings . Being here, playing caretaker, it felt far too comfortable, too intimate. Like I could imagine this was my life, taking care of Kabir. But it was just a fantasy.

If I didn't leave now, I was terrified I would do something reckless.

I turned slowly to face him. I nodded, feeling the weight of the moment.

"You're feeling better now, and I've got to get back to my own place. Can't keep crashing on your couch forever.."

Even to my own ears the words sounded callous. "My...my job here is done."

"Your 'job'? Is that all this was?"

"What more did you expect, Kabir?" I said tiredly. "I already overstayed . It's not exactly appropriate for me to be staying here with you. .We're colleagues. Not even fr- "

 I faltered over the word. Friends.

"We used to be friends." His tone had softened slightly, almost...wistful?

Before I could analyze it further he seemed to shake himself. The bitterness crept back as he muttered "But I guess you made it pretty clear years ago that you were done with me.  I thought...I hoped we were finally starting to rebuild our friendship. But clearly you're still set on running away at the first chance. You even didn't tell Maya and Dev about me."

My breath caught at the abrupt reminder. Did he truly not understand why I had left?

" After you left, I kept hoping you'd come back or at least call. But you never did. I thought something happened to you..."

His voice dropped to almost a whisper. "When you came back after all these years. You acted so indifferent, like our years of friendship had meant nothing. So I thought you left because you didn't care about me."

Surely he couldn't think...

"Is that what you've thought all this time? You think it was easy for me to just walk away from the only friend I had?" I asked incredulously. "That I just left without any valid reason back in school?"

Kabir gave a harsh laugh devoid of any humor. " Well, you didn't exactly stick around to say goodbye, Kitty. One day everything was normal and the next day you just vanished into thin air. So yeah, forgive me if your sudden disappearance was a bit confusing."

I stared at him wordlessly as long buried memories resurfaced. The awful things I had overheard him saying...things I realized now might have another explanation.

"Do you..." I hesitated, hating to reopen old wounds. "Do you remember two weeks before tenth standard finals started when we had that silly fight, and you were upset."

"I was looking for you next day during lunch. I wanted help studying for my Math final." Despite myself a wry half smile crossed my face at the memory of my ineptitude for the subject. "I wanted to apologize and ask if you were still willing to help me study for my Math final like you promised. I couldn't find you in the library or our usual spot under the Neem tree."

I risked a quick glance at Kabir. His eyes had lost their bitterness, replaced by dawning apprehension. Heart pounding I forced myself to continue.

"I finally saw you out near the basketball courts with...with Vivek and some other boys from your class." Unconsciously my hands clenched at the memory. "I was going to call out to you but then..."