What a week!

day 1 - continued

After crying on the floor for another minute Oliver got up and got dressed in a suit and tie. Then they looked at themselves in the mirror and made finger guns

"Looking snazzy." They said confidently.

It was honestly a surprise the mirror hadn't shattered from their antics. They brushed out the rest of their wrinkles and headed downstairs, contrary to their dressed friend, Issac had on a very faded shirt and was sporting black sweats. It was like a hot topic threw up on him, each step creaked louder than the other, practically screaming to be fixed. Once they made it all the way down, they both headed to the local Lowe's. Once they stepped into the Lowe's the smell of middle aged women and existential crises hit the pair like a 10 pound truck, soon enough they made their way to the fridge section, all while obviously being followed by a middle aged white man with a baseball hat covering his face.

"What about this one?"

"Eh, I don't like the handle."

"What about this one? It's got one of those screen ipad tv thingies?"

"Bro what are we, ipad kids?"

"I mean..."

"How about this one, it comes with free fridge magnets!"

"It's too small, and the magnets are ugly. And I'm pretty sure someone just stuck those on."

"Well damn woman, what do you want?"

"How about this one? It's got a water dispenser and it's huge!"

"We got a sink."

"Which, speaking of, needs to be fixed. Have you called the plummer yet?"

"Yeah but he said our sink is haunted."

"Idk man, call an exorcist then. How about this fridge, it's big enough and I think your coupon will actually apply to it."

"Yo, you're right"

"So we're getting this one right? How much does your coupon take off the price?"

"Uhhh, 1 cent..."

"...Better than nothing I guess."

They ended up arguing with the cashier for 2 hours and eventually got a 25% discount. As they were heading out the door with the fridge the figure suddenly emerged in front of them.

"Greetings! I hope you both are having a lovely day, but I can't help but notice how beautiful your property is. Say...how much do you want for it? To save trouble, I'll even pay in cash!" The strange guy said.

"This isn't our house, this is a Lowe's...?"

"Oh no! I meant the house you two left from today. The purple one with gold accents, that is your house right? No worries though, I'm more than happy to take it off your hands, I'll even cover the real estate fees! Name's David by the way." David said enthusiastically.

"Yknow what that house is hideous, also we don't even own it. Why would anyone even want that house, it's a literal trapezoid."

"Welp, here's my business card in case you ever plan to sell your house."

"IT'S NOT OUR HOUSE."

"Potato, tomato see ya later!" David left waving to them.

"ITS TOE-MAY-TOE, TOE-MA-TOE!"

Oliver then heard loud screeching noises behind them. They turned around to see Issac pushing the fridge with his hands.

"Damn I didn't know the fridge was that heavy" They said sarcastically as they turned towards their buddy ol' pal.

"Well then how about you actually help me rather than just standing there!" Oliver then decided to help push the fridge. Why they decided to push it and not use the little wheely thing was truly a mystery. Oliver started pushing then all of a sudden let out the most gaseous, ear-shattering, nose-defibrilating fucking fart known to man kind. Those milky ways were really showing their true colours now.

"Oopsie..." Oliver shyly bleated out.

The 4 of the nearby shoppers all collapsed simultaneously. Oliver proceeded to ditch Issac, running back to their humble abode, with every step small toots erupting from their buttocks, "I really gotta go....gotta go fast." As they said this a little boy wearing a sonic shirt with a sonic hat and sonic shoes hearing the very popular blue hedgehogs slogan turned to the source and immediately got a whiff of a scent, a scent that could take down countries, continents even, the little boy knew this was it and with a final breath declared, "Im sorry mommy." The child then dramatically fell to the ground with a thud. Safe to say the little boy's dreams were entirely crushed. Don't think we'll see him wearing that blue ever again.

Back in the store, Issac finally called for some assistance. Took em long enough. There had been another issue though...how would an entire fridge fit in their car? Oliver soon returned from the bushes, sighing with relief.

"I have a great idea!"

10 minutes later and the fridge was half-hazardly chucked in the car, doors wide open, since there was no more space Oliver had decided to tie Issac to the top of the car.

"Y'know what I always say, sacrifices must be made." Oliver proudly declared

"You literally have never said that you BITCH IM GONNA KILL YOU WHEN WE GET HOME." Issac remarked threateningly

After 2 hours with multiple exits missed, 4 gas pump stops, one tire popping, then being stuck in the insufferable afternoon traffic, they finally made it home. Slowly Oliver exited the vehicle after parking on the curb instead of a perfectly good drive-way filled with chalk drawings that varied from picasso to kindergarten art. Oliver pulled the fridge out of the car and then untied Issac from the car roof, they then proceed to tie the fridge to Issac, "you can take care of that, now if you'll excuse me, I got an ass to wipe." They said while trotting into the bathroom.

As Oliver made their way up the steps, they seemed to forget about the missing planks right in the doorway and ended up breaking through the loose planks, causing their foot to get stuck. Now they were both stuck in uncomfortable positions.

An hour later Issac and Oliver were both sitting on the floor of their kitchen trying to figure out how to set it up. "Well it's plugged in now, I guess we should test it?" Oliver boldly claimed, they then proceeded to walk into the fridge and shut the door behind them. "Oh boy this fridge sure is chilly." They then tried to open the fridge door but to their horror it stayed shut. They then started frantically banging and screaming. Issac ignored Oliver and decided to see if the fridge was actually working. It had already been an hour with no progress so he refused to believe Oliver would've actually figured out how to operate the fridge. He stood up and went to see where exactly Oliver had plugged the fridge. When Issac saw how they had plugged it in, he couldn't tell whether to be shocked or angry with Oliver's newly found strength. Turns out, the plug wasn't in the outlet, but rather forcefully jammed into the wall 2 cm NEXT to the outlet.

Oliver eventually manages to get out of the fridge, their pants slipping off right as Issac plugged the plug into the outlet, seconds later Oliver felt a chill up their spine, and asshole. Upon feeling this sensation they screamed "THE SPIRITS CAME TO GET ME HELP" while flailing around with their ass out...