Random thoughts 💭

Daddy issues

Dear dad,
I know you're hurt and betrayed,
But why did you hurt me the same?
I was just a little girl and didn't know anything expect your anger that never changed.
I needed you to guide me softly instead of judging me harshly... if I had been held instead of hurt, I know it all would have been different.
Am I supposed to be grateful to have survived one trauma after another? Even if they all could have been avoided if I'd had a healthy father?!
I hate myself for loving you so deeply and for not being able to stop loving you; look at all the pain you gave me.
You taught me that I shouldn't hurt the ones I love yet you still hurt me ?! Don't you love me?
I was just a child standing there asking her own parents to love her, I needed to be taken care of, to feel that I matter.
How many times do I need to forgive you before I am guilty of breaking my own heart?
I owed you my life, so you took my childhood before it had time to start.