Random thoughts 💭

Jealous much?

Seeing my father treat other kids with that much kindness and love made me sick to the core...
I didn't get to meet that version of him, the soft, loveable, gentle version...
I didn't get him to treat me like that.
He never knew how to deal with me, it was always awkward between us.
He never hugged me like he hugs them.
He never kissed me like he kisses them.
He never cooed me when I was upset like he does to them.
He never talked to me with that much gentleness like he's afraid his words would break them.
He never comforted me like he always comforts them.
Maybe I was overdramatic like he always told me...
Maybe I was really unloveable like the monsters in my head keep telling me.
I just don't know what I should do to get him to treat me as if I'm one of them.