Requested!
————————————————-
I was in my room sitting on my bed as the quiet sound from the tv was coming.
I was feeling awful these past days. Most people didn't know that I was suffering with anxiety.
It was fine in the past 1 year or so but lately I had things to worry about and my life was pretty stressful.
,,Sweetheart, are doing okay ? You haven't left your room all day" My mom came in my room.
She was standing by the door having a light smile on but her face was showing more worry than happiness.
,, I'm fine " I said fidgeting with my fingers.
,, Do you want something to eat or we-" she said before I cut her off.
,, Mom I'm fine, I don't want anything" I said with a sad voice which I tried to hide but I can tell I failed miserably.
She sight nodding her head, giving up. ,, Just let me know if you need anything" she said before walking out of my room closing the door behind her.
I decided to watch some TikTok's to kill some time.
I laid down on my bed as I started watching it but I quickly got upset again.
Seeing all these people's having their perfect life with good grades, nice family, friends.
Living so happy having no problems just made me wonder.
I stood up and walked to my mirror. My hair looks kinda messed up it's almost always just the way it is and the other girls are having freshly curled hair.
My ass could be bigger. Maybe my boyfriend thinks the same but he doesn't want to insult me.
A tear slipped from my eyes as I was standing there.
Why am I so messed up ?
That was the question I was constantly asking myself.
Out of all these people why am I the one who's like this? Couldn't be I a little bit more prettier ?
My cries got more and more heavier as I had enough.
I went to my bathroom and started searching for an eraser.
I sat on the floor and looked at my arm.
I slowly started to cut myself as I felt the pain in my body.
I never did this before because no matter how shitty I felt or how much I wanted to disappear even for a second I never thought of cutting myself.
But here we are.
After I was done I wiped my hand even though it was still bleeding.
I went back to my room and I was searching for a sweater before my door opened.
It was Javon, my boyfriend.
My eyes got wide as I saw him here.
I quickly tried to hide my arms behind my back so he won't see them.
