An Assassins Crown

Chapter 13- Katara and Verian

I through another dagger to the centre of the bored, my gaze laser focused. Walking over to the target once I had thrown the last of my daggers I stare at my feet as I walk.

Is murderous a feeling? Because if it is that is exactly what I'm feeling.

I rip the daggers out of the target one by one and then throwing them on the floor. The sun hollers down from the sky making my skin burn under my leathers. I look forward to the winter. After successfully pulling out all the daggers I gather them in my hands and walk back to the mark line. I place them on the side table and flip one of them in my hands before letting it fly.

With every dagger the thought that I'll never be able to be with Verian further embeds into my soul. I should start pushing him away now so that I won't hurt him anymore. Being together- its never going to work. I wish it would but it won't.

I throw another dagger. No matter how hard we try to make it work it just won't. It'll be easier for both of us if we just let it go now. That moment yesterday was just a need that both of us needed to cure, it was an impulse we shouldn't have given into.

So now I should distance myself. And then I won't hurt that sweet soul anymore.

I pick up another dagger and throw it and it to finds it's mark. My problems shouldn't be his problems, we shouldn't talk anymore. So it'll go back to quiet Katara, regal Katara, and utterly obedient Katara.

I will play the role of prisoner until the day I make my escape and free these people. I'll play the role of good girl just like how it was supposed to be until I let myself feel. Feeling emotions is for the weak. That's what my mother used to tell me. She trained me to be the killer I am, the assassin, the spy, the strategist. Listen to her lessons, her teachings, no matter how much I don't want to remember.

The lashings, the pain, everything that she put me through. I want to forget. I never want to relive that pain- but there's still so many little girls and boys who get trained in that horror scape. So when I save these people I will find away to get back to Krilya, even if it kills me in the process. Because I refuse to sit by and watch the world go by when there's something I can do about it.

And love- love would just get in the way of everything.

Love is not a compatible emotion for me. Vengeance, anger, determination, those are compatible emotions but even to much of those can be dangerous.

Emotions make you weak but pain makes you stronger.

Don't forget your mothers first lesson.

With a plate of rice and vegetables I walk back to where Katara was murderously throwing the daggers. I make sure not to startle her in her concentrated state as I place the bowl down on the table where she had meticulously placed the daggers.

"Kat" I say in a low voice. She turns around to face me but the eyes I'm met with are so dead. The life and the teasing smile I had come to enjoy is gone. Her hair sticks to her forehead and sweat drenches her body. "I got you some lunch" I say as my eyes search her's worriedly. I push the food forward a little to try and coax her into eating it. "I know your hungry."

"Thanks" she says and grabs the plate. She eats slowly, not even looking at me as she takes small bites of the food.

My confusion reaches peaks, I understand she may be upset but why the cold, dead attitude. She seems almost lifeless. It's like she has switched off her emotions.

After only eating half the food she places the plate back on the table. She can't be full. Her cheeks are still so hollow, her limbs so lanky. "Can you give the rest to the little girl over there?" she gestures to the small girl training in hand to hand combat. She looks only to be 14 maybe 15 at the most. Her bluish hair swishes from side to side as Milo teaches her simple movements.

"Are you sure?" I say. All I get in answer is a simple nod before her back faces me once again. As she reaches for a dagger I place a hand over her's. "If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask."

"Ok" she snatches her and away and goes back to throwing daggers. I pick up the plate and walk over to the little girl. The kid looks exhausted, that's for sure.

I stuff my free hand into my pocket as I say "Hey kid" her head snaps to me.

"Yes?" her voice is soft. I lift up the plate of food to signal that it's her's. Still questioning me she asks "Is that for me?"

"Yep" I hold out the plate for her to take, "But don't thank me, thank her." she looks past to me to where I gestured to Katara.

"I will" her voice sounds almost joyful. She takes the plate from me and looks at Milo looking for permission to go and eat it. He nods and she scurries off to a tree cover and starts eating. Seeing such a small thing like rice and vegetables make someone so happy makes me feel almost grateful that Katara relinquished her food. But, I would still have preferred her to eat it.

"Kid" I call out "what's your name?"

"My names Fern."

I chuckle for some reason "Nice name" she nods in thanks before going back to eating.

Milo turns to me, a teasing grin on his face. It's the type of face you want to punch desperately but also want to cherish because if you lost it it would be like losing a part of yourself. I give him a look that says what.

"Katara didn't want your meal?" he says. I walk over to him and pinch his arm causing him to do the opposite thing I wanted it to do. His laugh is full as he tips his head back. I roll my eyes but even I can't keep a small smile from covering my face. "You know" he says once he's reigned in his laugh "you're going to get an earful from Cally if you give away more of her meals. Especially if she makes it for a 'lady friend'" he hear that?

"You where listening?"

"Don't you know by now? I have eyes and ears everywhere" his shit eating grin never falters.

I roll my eyes and walk over to help train these people. Katara obviously needs some space so that's exactly what I'm going to give her.