Philophobia - My JoURNaL

Chapter 8# Twelve moonish doves

-When I see, the White doves, flying around, I can only imagine my feet in the ground.

I've never seen a White Dove,
Never this close before, only if I could know what is this for.

I've already seen eleven, or twelve beaut, White doves, And all of them were running, all to me like dogs.

They all want me for something, which I don't even know, I've always thought they are like bird-spyes with alms below.

Their wings.

If I could go back to life, as a pretty Dove, I'll choose to be a white one, and I'll give you all my love.

If I could go back to life, only for a few days, White doves would be waiting for you, all your goes and all your stays.

When I saw, twelve White doves, walking in the ground, I could only imagine, myself singing aloud.

I've never seen a white Dove,
In this town before, now I see twelve, twelve Moonish doves.

Yesterday in the airport, I Saw a moonish Dove, in the hospital I realized what It all was for.

-That's a pretty good song, is It... All true?

-Yeah, It is.

-I've- I've seen a white Dove in my window today. It was probably a dream, but I swear I Saw one.

-Isn't it Strange?, there's 222 rooms, 22 levels, 2 windows PER room and they still follow us?

-You're right...

-Hey, are you crying? - Asked Max confused.

-Uhmm, nah, I'm just...

-Yes you are. - Said Elodie.

-Well, I had a friend who died from cancer. That day, a few hours later, a stunning White Dove appeared in our balcony. I never ever saw a white dove that high. It was the fifth floor of a building where each floor was like twice the height of a normal one. My mother instantly knew It was her. The Dove wouldn't leave. She was looking at us. - Said Ellora.

-444 Windows plus all the other room's Windows, and we're the only room with a Dove? You're right, I've never seen something like this before. - Reinforced Elodie.

-Haven't you ever watched TV? - Mocked Max.

-Oh, shut up! - Laughed Elodie.

-I know you're not going to like this, but I gotta thank you for what you did. Your parents must be so glad you're like this.

-If only they cared...

-What do you mean?...

-They don't even care about me. Not even like they care about a dog.

-I didn't know you have a dog.

-I don't!

-Oh...

They hugged me. I hugged them. I felt loved. We went home.

My parents were happy to see me there, and they hugged me. But Elodie was still a little sad. Will her mom support her and accept she's gay?

They told me they would do just ONE THING for me each (I mean 1 mom and 1 dad), like a wish, so I had to think them well.

My mom's going to our neighbour's house, so I plan to call Elodie and talk to her.

Nevermind, she said I can go too. I'm going.

People are always shooting fireworks all around the city, and our neighbour's dog doesn't like them. Dog's hear lot of times better than we do, so it must be so overwelming for her. Her name is Coco, and I LOVE her.

I stood up from the sofa because Coco left the livingroom, so I'm sitting in the bed with Coco below me.

Coco knows I'm sad. Dogs can know your feelings even if you're masking them or trying to hide them. It's hilarious.

She just laid on my legs and put her head on my shoulder. I really want to cry, but I don't think I have a reason.

I think I do, nobody understands my ADHD personality. Maybe not even if a specialist said I do have it people would understand me more. Symptoms are always there, and I can't help it.

I made a promise, just like the woman in the novel I'm reading.
I won't cry if it's not because of love.

The problem? I NEVER fell in love. Not like I would like to. It's hard to know if I like someone or I just have a dopamine-rush when I'm with them. But I never kissed someone. I'm not interested... Not as I should.

I don't even know what to do.

Coco frees her frustration "digging", and she's doing that on my chest right now. It's not hurting, but she gets her paws stuck in my necklaces sometimes, so I'm going to take them off so she can relief her frustration.

What u saying? That I shouldn't move? I'm still in a wheelchair, like... I can't feel anything...