Philophobia - My JoURNaL

Chapter 7# Sure

Alice's machine started making more stronger sounds and showing a red light that lighted the hole room and rushed through the windows, including ours.

-ELLORA, DID YOUR PARENTS AGREE?

-Yeah, I made them sign digitally, is that okay?

-IT IS, NOW COME, HURRY.

I left the room, still in my wheelchair, kinda embarassed, and I grabbed Elodie's bracelet, in tears. I hate seeing people sad, that's what causes me much more anxiety sometimes.

I jst woke up. I ave a small incision where my right kidney usted to be, ad aparentlly they had to take a piece of my lung too.

I'm Not in the operation room. They T0ok me to a recuperation room, to mnitorize my ahnestesia in case i d0 something weiR.

I'm so glad I did this.

I fell asleep, again. I woke up with both the girls at my side.

I covered my ears, thinking they might wanted to hug me, speak to me, or something like that.

They didn't. When they noticed I was finally awake, they just sit near me. They weren't even looking, and didn't say a thing.

Most of the people would find that offensive, but that's not my case. I'm so glad they did that. I hate when people put all their attention in me or start staring at me, wether worried, or just talking to me or even looking at my hands. Like, THEY'RE HANDS, YOU KNOW? YOU HAVE TWO!! LOOK AT YOURS!!

They had to put extra anesthesia on me just so I couldn't feel other people's touches, because I don't like when people touches me. (I asked for it).

I was the one who asked for it. Or else, I'd be probably making Stranger sounds since all I could move were my hands and half my arms, so I couldn't even cream. They took a piece of my lung, and THAT SHIT HURTS, TRUST ME.

I thought the 'Don't touch me' thing eas normal, until I hit my brother suddenly just because he touched my hand with his.

I didn't really process it, it was unexpected, even for me.

I asked them what day It was, and thank them for how they acted when I woke up. It sounds weird, but felt amazing.

There's just one thing I had a problem with. I don't know how to say thank you. I never knew. I just... Nod my head down to express I want to thank someone, just like they used to reverence kings and queens back in the time.

The thing is they weren't even looking, so, I didn't really knew what to do.

I just couldn't feel my body, so I couldn't even move.

I could only move my arms, that obviously weren't numb since they weren't a part of the operation, and that's how I was covering my ears.

I could speak, weakly and in a little pain, but I just didn't know what to say.

I stopped covering my ears, and began blowing air towards their hair.

That's how I expressed I was thanking them, and they seemed to notice the air blow reaching their heads.

They looked at eachother, that's how I knew.

I'm literally writing right now, while they look at each other while whispering.

I'm going to write down everything I hear. I'll be kinda messy, I need to do It fast.

Max: Can't she talk?
Elodie: Of course she can, she just doesn't know how to.
Max: What do u mean?
Elodie: She never says thank you. She never did.
Max: True...
Elodie: Yeah, true...
Max: I think I know why.
Elodie: She's just not the type of person who hasn't any problem with speaking and expressing.

I gotta say something really fast.

I took my book out and put it in the desk.

-I- I'm not.

They turned their heads back towards me and looked at me.

-You can still touch me if you're really carerul, I'm numb. I can't feel anything.

They hugged me, but I didn't hug them back. I hate putting skin together because it gives me their Heat and I DON'T LIKE THAT, NO THANKS. YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS APPART. THANK YOU.

-How's your mother? You should go check. - I asked.

-She's in the same room as you. She's okay. Thanks to you. I'll never forget this, you really didn't almost think about it I can see that you care more for others than for yourself. - Said Elodie.

-Yes, I do. Could you please, lower that voice? - I asked her, still couldn't Talk properly but I couldn't feel anything now.

-Oh, of course. I'm sorry. - She answered.

-I really hope your mother feels better than I do.

-What do you mean? - Answered Elodie with another question.

-Why are you saying that? - Asked Max.

-I don't feel good, they took my organ, they p- put it into your mom's b- body, and I feel It, somehow. I don't- I don't think I-

I fainted. Again. I started to feel dizzy, I normally ignore that "soft-dizzyness" bcuz It's normally nothing and it wapes off within a minute. In this case, It didn't. It turned out not being so "sOfTiE", and I ended up fainting.

Don't worry, I'm fine. They kinda started to freak out when I fainted, but that's okay, I'm glad they did.

They gave me lots of liquids supposing the conscious-loss was caused because of hunger and low energy.

I had a blashback when I was unconscious. It was about me playing with the girls, but something felt diferent.

I had that dopamine-rush again, and apparently started blushing.

The moment I wake up, I found the girls looking at me. This time, they looked a lot more scared.

They told me I've been asleep a few minutes and the doctors put me in that black chairweel again.

I could barely move, but I felt great after all.

-What's wrong with you?!!

-I- I don't know... They said It's probably low energy.

-Fainting doesn't help?

-I- I don't know, how am I supposed to know? I didn't feel anything all day!

-Okay, relax! You need to rest. Again.

-I'm fine, can I see your mother?

-Uhmm... Sure, lifesaver. - Answered Elodie blushing.

I HATE COMPLIMENTS SO BAD. I just covered my ears and closed my eyes. Well, I usually hate conpliments, but I took that one mine.

I mean, I really DO appreciate that people have those things they think about me, because I'm used to think they hate me in my back. Not with them, but what I mean is THAT I really thank when they say that, I just don't like the mode in which they say it. It's the same one as talking to a baby, AND I HATE THAT.

Elodie discovered her mom's bed's courtins and turns out she was playing the... Guitar??!

I wasn't expecting that, I instantly took my hands outta my ears and started listening.

They were running some tests in her body so they needed her to do something that requires brain's certain part to work. One of them, of course, playing some kind of instrument.

She had a pretty good voice and guitar skills. I sat with her and she started looking at me.

My eyes started watering while I listened to the beautiful song she written in just 2 minutes. She had a really good skill.