More funnies because next chapter is about halfway done :3
(Unless I suddenly decide to add more scenes but anyway-)
———
(Sabre talking about stuff about his old world with the Red Leader, M, and the Professor all sitting in one of the rooms in the castle)
Sabre: And a lot of things were restricted by age. It was mostly understandable, I guess.
Red Leader: (reading a book while listening) Hm? Things like what?
Sabre: (Knowing exactly what he's about to start) Well in three years, I would have been legally allowed to drink alcohol.
Every adult in the vicinity: (suddenly having their full attention on the convo) ABSOLUTELY NOT-
M: (starts dying laughing)
Red Leader: Able to drink? At 21?
Prof. Red: That's ridiculous! A few years way too early!
Sabre: Hey, 21 was actually a good number. In some places it was lowered to 16.
Red Leader: Sixtee- SIX. TEEN.
Sabre: Yep. Heck, some kids back where I lived would get their hands on some and drink it before they were old enough.
Prof. Red: Were you one of them?
Sabre: Nope. They got caught and had to do advanced drills for weeks.
Prof. Red and Red Leader: Good.
—
(M minding his business walking through a hall when a croissant falls from above and hits the floor.)
M: (Looks up, very confused)
Sabre: (in the rafters) Hi, can I have that back?
M: Sabre, what in the-
Sabre: I'm pranking the Professor by throwing these onto his observatory's glass roof. He has beef with the pigeons.
M: ...What'd he do?
Sabre: He snitched about us climbing in the roof.
M: Ah. (tosses the croissant back up) Carry on, then.
—
(M walks into the Leader's office, laughing)
Red Leader: What?
M: I just got a funny message from the Assistant. Look.
(M shows the Leader a small device, which has a video pulled up. M plays it.)
In the video:
Assistant: While testing plant-based healing being used on Sabre as a result of the fight with the raccoon the previous day, the Professor accidentally found one that, when used on Sabre, induces sleep.
(Assistant turns the camera around to show the Professor struggling to help keep a half-passed-out Sabre from falling off his chair.)
Assistant: It was only a fraction of a dose, so he will be fine.
Prof. Red: (turning around for a second) Assistant, if you don't stop recording, I'm going to take out your voice box.
Assistant: False. You wouldn't dare.
(The Leader is now laughing at the video with M)
—
(Sabre realizes he's been missing out on a lot of things. This is just one instance.)
M: Just try it.
Sabre: Why?
M: It's good!
Sabre: It's potatoes cut up, fried, and covered in salt. It can't be that much of an improvement.
M: I was right about the crepes, I know for a fact I'm right about this.
Sabre: Alright, alright, fine.
(Sabre takes a fry and tries it.)
Sabre: ...Oh dang.
M: See? I know what I'm talking about.
—
(Everyone jokes about Sabre having a bad sleep schedule, but have you considered:)
Red Leader: (walking from his office) You should be asleep.
Sabre: (walking back from the kitchen) So should you.
—
M: (putting in his cloak and sneaking around the castle to get out) I'm so sneaky. I'm totally getting away with this.
Red Leader: (seeing him) Who's this kid think he is? You can't blend in against a brick wall when you're wearing brown. At least try to stick to the shadows.
—
(Jasper teaches Sabre how to cook. The first few lessons didn't exactly go... well.)
Jasper: Okay so, you'll want to start with using that knife to-
Sabre: Oh hey, I've seen one like this before. It can separate meat from bone pretty well, and sliced are always clean.
Jasper: I thought you've never cooked before?
Sabre: I haven't.
Jasper: ...I can already tell I'm too sober for this.
—
:b
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Incorrect Quotes
HumorI'm just gonna post here when I'm bored or want to write shenanigans. Will take suggestions, as long as it's not ships. These take place in both Sabre's series (SS, RQ, SL, TR) and AUs, both mine and ones that used to be mine but have new owners. Ma...
