"May problema ba Ica?" Tinanggal ko ang mata ko sa laptop ko at lumingon kay Kuya Caloy. We're inside the car. Sinundo niya ako galing sa isang coffee shop kung saan kami nag-usap ni Jake tungkol sa research namin. It's already weekends and he finally decided to cooperate.
"Wala naman po." I calmly replied.
"Eh ilang araw nang hindi maipinta ang mukha mo." It has been three days when I was like this— unable to control my frustrations. I doubt I can even learn to take over it.
"Busy lang po sa school." I reasoned out. It was not partially a lie. Nung isang araw nga lang din ay nag-announce ang teacher namin sa contemporary arts ng bagong gagawin— our final requirement in her subject: a theater play.
"Gaano ga ka-busy iyan at hindi ka na makakain? Nagsumbong sa akin si Percy. Hindi ka raw nakain nang ilang araw na."
"Nakakaligtaan ko na po dahil marami akong ginagawa. May pagkain naman po ako sa kwarto." I mumbled.
Hindi kaagad nagsalita si Kuya Caloy. I knew by then he sensed something in my tone. But I chose to disregard it still.
"Hindi ka rin daw nagre-reply sa Ate Chel mo." I bit my tongue.
"Hindi niya raw alam kung tutuloy ka ngayong bumisita pero naghanda pa rin daw siya kung sakali. Sinubukan ka rin naman daw niyang tawagan pero hindi ka raw ma-contact." Hindi pa rin ako sumagot, takot na baka masungitan ko ulit siya.
"Bakit hindi mo ipaliwanag sa kanyang okupado pa ang araw mo at maliwanagan ang Ate mo?" I know I should say something but I suddenly don't know what to say.
"Nag-aalala na kami sa'yo iha." I gulped the building lump in my throat and tried to steady my breathing, afraid to break my voice when I talk.
"Okay lang po ako, Kuya. Pasabi nalang po kay Ate Chel." I murmured, uncertain if I was heard.
Only if I know he's not the one who's operating Ate Chel's phone, she would probably not be affected. I could've informed her about my frustrations. She could've been the first one to know why I'm acting this way. She could've made it better. Only if.
•••••
After I sent the reaction paper and the essay I made to Adhara I immediately faced the portrait I was working on. Natapos ko na ang lahat nang kailangang tapusin. I am also done editing my vlog last night.
I just can't manage to free my schedule even just an hour with my mind's current state right now that's why I did everything in the span of just three days. I even planned to do portrait art commissions just to keep myself occupied and not think of my self-caused, deep personal humiliation and shame. Thanks to Jake who suddenly— miraculously replied to my messages before telling me we'll proceed with my topic and invited me to discuss it with him which I was only happy to obliged.
I was bending over the art when someone knocked on my door. I glanced at the clock and saw it's already dinner time.
I sighed and went to open the door.
"Tapusin ko lang po— Awtomatikong napatigil ako nang makita si Kuya Caloy pagbukas ko ng pinto buhat ang siguro'y pagkain ko.
"Ihahatid ko na rito. Kumain ka kung may oras ka." I unconsciously slided the door. He went inside my room. Sinundan ko siya and watched him as he settled my food on the table beside my study table.
I saw him glance at the artwork in my table before he looked at me and silently walked out of my room without saying anything.
I watched him as he calmly closed the door as if telling me I should act the same.
BINABASA MO ANG
There, Somewhere
Fiksi RemajaFerica Lavish, a senior high school student who lives in a confined room of her own, who struggles to escape from the humdrum frames her mother has imprisoned her, tries to keep it, but with emotions unfelt, actions reserved, afraid to stir somethin...
