Ch. 21- Realities Clash (Edited)

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Aria's POV:

I was seated on the bench outside in the garden, watching how the rays of sunlight peered through the trees which was a healthy green. The flowers all around me bloomed as the birds chirped their calming melodies.

It felt like I was observing all this through a window, disconnected from the reality of the world. I was never a part of it, always just a bystander. And nobody ever pays attention to a bystander.

I guess it was sort of nice in a way, not being noticed all the time. But there had always been times in my life when I wished I had been noticed, where people would listen to what I had to say because I'd seen it all.

I felt the presence of somebody sitting on the opposite side, distanced from me on the bench as I gazed up at the sky.

"I'll probably lie to you again so you might as well just leave," I say, still not knowing who was seated beside me.

"How did you meet those twins you were friends with?" Adrian asks, revealing himself and fully ignoring my comment.

"Why do you care?" I ask, turning my head to face him.

"You seem to have adored them very much," Adrian shrugs. "Almost as if they were your younger siblings."

"They are," I sighed. "Well, they were like my siblings. We had known each other since we were babies."

"Was our Mom acquainted with their mother?" He had said the word Mom strangely as if it never came naturally to him.

"Yeah," I said slowly, confused in the direction of the conversation. "They were best friends before we were born."

"What about the twins did you love so much?" He continues with the question.

Something inside me compelled me to answer each question he asked about Talia and Tre. Nobody had ever asked me about the twins so it was new and refreshing in a way even though it hurt.

"Everything," I said, leaning into the bench. "Both of them, along with Mama, made me into the person I am today." 

I'm just losing touch with reality.

"Tre was the one that got me into ball," The words danced along my tongue strangely.

"Even though he was just eight, he showed me a better way to live. And Talia was the one that taught me that I didn't need to change anything for anybody."

Tears began welling up in my eyes as I continued talking about them. "She showed me that people would accept me for who I was, not who I wasn't." My voice began cracking. "It's crazy how little kids would teach you probably the biggest life lessons even if they're unaware that they are."

"Do you miss them?" He carefully brings up, as if he pried any further I would shatter into a million pieces.

"A lot," I say, a sob building up in the back of my throat as I wipe my tears away. "I was supposed to be their older sister but I couldn't even protect them."

"I understand what you're saying," Adrian says blatantly, staring ahead.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused. Adrian had all his younger brothers by his side which meant he had done a good job protecting them.

"I had a best friend too that was my little brother too," He said, his voice sounding deeper with guilt. "His name was Marcus."

"What happened to him?" 

And then he froze.

Adrian froze for the first time, unsure of what to say or rather how to say it.

"I couldn't protect him," Adrian's eyes seemed more tired the more he talked about Marcus. "I was at such a low point in life, I thought I'd never escape."

"How did you deal with the guilt?" I said, my glossy eyes looking up at him.

"I used the guilt to wake me up every day and do what I do," Adrian began and I nodded my head, but he wasn't finished. "And it is probably one of my biggest regrets."

Huh?

"Dad said I should talk to somebody about it, but I refused. I didn't want to submit to the reality of what had happened." Adrian's breathing seemed to become even more shallow. "Jaden had also gone through something and decided to get the help. Now, he's probably one of the healthiest guys I know."

"What you've been through, Aria, is not normal and it's going to be tough to fight through it. It doesn't matter how strong or wealthy you are, it will always find a way to hurt you." Adrian paused for a second. "I don't want you to continue hurting like that- especially by yourself."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked in uncertainty.

"I'm saying... you should try and talk to someone- a professional." Adrian hesitantly says as his eyes hover over my face, observing my expressions.

I immediately scrunched my nose up at the thought of it. "Why would I need to talk to a professional- I'm not crazy." My voice slightly raises as I quickly attempt to defend myself.

"I didn't say you were crazy, Aria-" Adrian began but I cut him off, my ears turning pink.

"If you're saying I'm not crazy, then why the hell would you-"

"I said you're hurting," He concluded softly. "And to hurt alone..." He leaned further into the bench, sighing as his stone-cold eyes seemed to be full of pain. "It slowly kills any life you once had in you."

I stared at him for a few seconds before facing forward. Adrian was right. He was right about it all. And he was living proof of it.

I don't even live for myself anymore but rather for the ones I had lost. Once I had lost Talia and Tre, my whole world revolved around Mama. And with Mama gone now... I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore.

"What if I deserved this hurt?" I said with a shaky voice. "What if it was something I deserved?"

Adrian turns to look at me, confused and almost pained himself that I was saying this. "Why do you think you would deserve that?"

"I only had one job and that was to make sure they were okay," I whispered, my throat feeling like it was closing up. "And I couldn't even do the bare minimum of keeping them alive."

"You're still just a kid," Adrian shook his head, something in his whole demeanour changing. "You shouldn't have gone through any of that."

I stared off into the garden, holding back tears as I listened to the birds chirp all around us. The sun had begun setting and it was turning into a more golden hue, shining into our faces.

Adrian stood up from beside me, his whole mood shifting from whatever he was showing me to his usual closed-off one.

"Think about what I told you- about the professional, and let me know." He mutters before walking off. 

I looked at him walk into the house before pausing at the door as if he was conflicted on whether or not to enter the house before he did.

And just like that, I was all alone. Again.

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