Their Princess

Ch. 29- Weak

Aria's POV:

I knew it wasn't real but it felt like it was.

The warm blood splattering on my face as the monster screamed still seemed real to me. I don't know how I'm still calling him the monster when I was the one that killed him.

I could still hear Talia's small cries, calling out for her twin brother to wake up even though I was cradling his limp body in my arms. That still felt real to me.

Deep down I knew it wasn't happening but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't wake up. 

It has been like this every night back in the Harts mansion. I could always tell by the looks on their faces every morning at breakfast, that they knew that I was still having nightmares. 

It was just a topic no one ever brought up around me and I was kind of grateful for that. But I wished I knew how to stop having them.

Waking up in a cold sweat, my heart racing, and throwing up was not how I wanted to spend my mornings the rest of my life. 

But this time it was different. 

I could almost sense that somebody was with me this time as a faraway voice consoled me. 

"It's okay, Aria." I could hear their soothing voice put me at ease. "I got you."

Slowly, I felt I was returning to what was actually reality and what my mind was making up.

My eyes fluttered open, tears still spilling out and I could hear a relieved sigh to the side of me. 

The first thing I saw looking over was those cold yet beautiful green eyes. The ones that sent a chill down my back but couldn't break my gaze away for some reason.

"...Are you okay?" I could hear his light accent as he asked me barely above a whisper but loud enough for me to hear. His fingers held firm on my jaw to keep my head in place so that I stayed looking at him.

And I hesitated for the first time. For the first time, I had no idea whether or not, to tell the truth, or brush it off in case my honesty came to bite me in the back.

My lips parted but no words escaped, so I did what I knew best. Wiped my tears and shut the world out.

I turned away from his warm hand reluctantly, brushing him off before forcing him to face my back.

"I'm going to make us some food," He announced with a certain tone that I couldn't put a finger on. "Just come out whenever you're ready."

He waits for an answer but I stay silent and wait until I could hear his defeated footsteps carry him out of the room.

I'm such a weak fucking bitch. 

Everything hurt inside and out. There were bruises caused by the deathly grips and scrapes running down my back when I was getting dragged along the concrete. The pounding in my head seemed to get stronger every second, making me feel like I was losing my mind.

And my heart- it hurts so bad. Way too much. And the weight that seemed to be pushing me down every day had seemed to feel heavier. 

Deep down, I knew what I wanted. I wanted to... be gone.

But I couldn't do that to myself. Because Mama gave her life instead of mine- she gave me a second chance. And who else will be held responsible for Talia and Tre?

There are so many reasons why I wanted to go, but there were reasons that were much more important that were forcing me to stay.

I was no longer living for myself and I've come to terms with that. But the pain has become overwhelming without Mama.