My Guardian Angel (My Angel #1)

Chapter 6- Letting Go

*1 week later*

Calla's POV

It'd been seven days. Seven. Fucking. Days. And I'm still pissed.

I have a routine. I wake up 6:00, go on a run, come back after twenty laps (four miles) around the path that laps the garden and house, go straight up to my room, do thirty minutes worth of exercise on my yoga mat, and then I shower.

By then it's 8:00 and I'm starting breakfast, at 8:30 I wake the boys up with a few minutes worth of calling and yelling, then I eat quickly and try to not converse too much with anyone other than the boys, then I go back to my room.

Then, I read for a bit, and by the time it's 10:00, I've settled down at my desk. I have a chart now, with all the boys on it, but I'll go into detail about that later.

When it's 11:30, I start lunch and call the boys down at noon. Then, I make all the boys stay downstairs and do something together. Evander- Ethan- goes up to his room though. At about 2:00, they all head back to go do whatever. But I go on a walk through the woods. I usually stay out until 5, then I begin dinner.

After we eat, I go up to my room and relax until 10:00 and go to bed. I miss Ethan. My Angel. The Angel. He's not mine. But I can't help but hurt every time I think about what he said.

Of course I fucking understand!!

How could I not understand!?

I lost everyone that ever meant anything to me! And he thinks I don't fucking understand!!!!?

There's a sudden knock on my door. It's 9:45. The boys are all usually asleep by now.

Evander?

Angel?

I slowly open my door after wiping away a stray tear.

I look up and see nothing.

Da fuq???

"Cawwa??" A little voice asks me. The voice is cranky and snot filled. I look down and almost burst into tears.

"Sammy?!! Sweets what's wrong!??" I get on my knees and wipe away his tears. He's standing there in his onesie as he clutches his stuffed elephant. He's shaking and looks up at me with big brown eyes.

"I has a bad dweam. Wif my mommy and daddy." The little three year old says. "I got to Efan but he'sh not fere!!" He bawls to me.

What!?

Where the hell is he? Is he okay? Oh god. I think I'm gonna be sick.

"Well, how about this," I scoop him up and close my door. "We're gonna go snuggle and then you can tell me about it, okay? I'll keep the bad dreams away." I give him a little smile as I wrap him in blankets.

I want to go check on Evander, but I know I need to be here for Sammy. I'll go searching for him before my run.

"What happened?" I whisper once we're both comfy.

"My mommy wath super nice. She wath... Perfic! My daddy wath so mean. He hit mommy a lot. I wath crying one night and he threw a bottle at me. Mommy wath yelling rewwy loud but I dunno why. I wath just lying on the ground. Mommy hit daddy and then she went to sleepy. I didn't wanna be all by myshelf so I went to beddy-bye too!! Efan sayed mommy is fine now, and that daddy went away. But I woke up here. I've been here longer then anyone!!"

Ohmygod......

I wipe away one of the many tears on my face.

"You're so strong, sweetheart," I whisper. "and I am so proud of you." He beams at me asks me why he can't move on.

"Sweetheart, I don't know... I think it's your dad. You're scared. You shouldn't be. I know it doesn't make sense, but it will someday. You're so little, and you've been through so much. Your daddy isn't, a good person. He doesn't deserve your love. But you also can't hate him. One day you're gonna realize that everything happens for a reason, even if the reason isn't a very good one. He can't hurt you. Not now, and not ever again. The nightmares are nothing but memories, and you can't let them control you. He can only hurt you know if you don't let go, sweetheart."

He seems to think about it for a while. There's no way he's understand it all, but I needed to say it. If not for him, then for me.

Then I realized he was nodding. His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful. I smiled at his acceptance and couldn't help but adore how cute he looked when he was falling asleep.

Then something weird happened. He started to fall through my arms. I wasn't holding him anymore. He was pale. It was as if he wasn't even there anymore. He was going transparent now. I screamed. I screamed for Sammy, I screamed for help, but most of all, I screamed for Evander. I needed him.

I was confused, and scared out of my mind.

I was shaking and crying and couldn't stop. Suddenly, the door bust open and there stood Ethan in all his glory. I couldn't admire him though. Not now. Not when Sammy was disappearing right in front of my eyes. The boys all gathered in the doorway, looking sad.

Through my tears eyes, I saw Evander crouch next to Sammy.

Through my sobs I heard him tell Sammy to let go and that everything was gonna be okay.

Through my despair, I realized that Sammy wasn't there anymore. The child I adored as my own was gone.

No. No! NO!!!

Suddenly is cradling me in his lap and whispering that he was sorry, over and over again.

He made me feel safe, secure. As if he'd never let me go. So I did the only thing that made sense. I closed my eyes, and I let go.

Evander's POV

I was sitting in the garden. Watching the stars appear as I smelled the flowers. I missed my princess. She was avoiding me. I was avoiding her. I need to apologize.

Fuck!

I can't wait any longer.

I run to the door and suddenly I hear screaming. Female screaming.

No.

I charge up the steps and with every step I break a little as the screaming just gets worse. Calling for help, calling for me, calling for- Sammy!? Shit.

I throw her door open and I see Sam laying in the covers, transparent and quiet.

Oh god...

Finally. You poor thing.

"It's okay. Everything's gonna be great. You're doing awesome, bud! Just, let go..." I whisper to him.

I hear Cal crying in the back and she looks like she can't breathe as he becomes nothing.

I pull her to me as I cradle her in my lap.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"I'm sorry..." Again and again until she falls asleep in my arms. I tell the boys to go t bed and that we'd talk about it at breakfast.

As they go back to their rooms to shed their tears for the youngest of us all, I carry her down the hall. I can't leave her alone. Not like this. Not now.

As I snuggle up beside her I my bed, I try to ignore her outfit.

Who the hell wears nothing but silk pajama shorts and a sports bra to bed!?

Ugh. This is hard to ignore. Fuck it. I wrap my arms around her and bring her close to me. She immediately returns the favors and nuzzles her nose to my neck and sighs contently.

I know it's forbidden. A human and an angel. I would never defy our laws. Especially not for a human girl.

Tomorrow I'd apologize and tell her I want to be friends again. Until then, just for one night... I'm going to let myself pretend that we can ever be something more. I'm going to let myself lie here with a girl that means so much to me, and I'm gonna let myself act like we could ever be more. Just for tonight... I'm letting go.