The Chequered Flag || Lando Norris

37 | Always

"That was lovely!" I said when we got back to the room.

"Yeah." Lando said with a sigh.

Concerned at the shift in energy from the table to the room, I turned to look at him, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He said, shaking his head and pulling his shirt over his head to change for bed.

"Uh-uh." I said, seriously. "No. You don't get to do that. You don't get to shut me out. Not now. We're not starting this now. Especially after everything that happened today."

"Really, Cami." He looked at me, sadness clouding his normally bright eyes. "It's because of today that I don't want to put this onto you. Please, do me a favor and don't worry about it."

"No." I said simply.

I took a step to him as he sat defeatedly on the edge of the bed, putting his head in his hands. I stood directly in front of him, putting my hands on his shoulders, his head now leaning against my stomach.

I thought for a second, and then slid down to a crouch, taking his hands into mine, and forcing him to look into my eyes, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

I said it so simply that it took a second for my words to register with him, "What do you mean "yours"? What's been going on with you?"

He looked so concerned, I said, "See, not so nice when you know something's up with the person you love, but they won't tell you."

"Cami." Lando said, almost forcefully, "What's up with you? Tell me what I need to do to fix it."

"Lando." I said, then repeated my earlier words, "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"No. Tell me now. I don't care about my shit anymore."

"That's not how this works, Love." I said calmly. Making it known I wasn't going to budge until he told me what was up with him.

"Okay." He said with a sigh, and I pat the ground beside me.

He sunk down to the floor and I turned to face him. Intertwining my legs with his to keep him as close to me as I could, make him feel as safe as I could.

"I'm worried." He said simply, "It's just all hitting me now. I'm starting on pole tomorrow and no one really expects me to be able to keep a cool enough head to turn it into a win. Which, I know, shouldn't bother me because people have always doubted me, people are constantly saying I don't take it seriously enough, that I goof off too much, that I will never get to the level that I want–"

"Hey." I said, hoping to stop him from spiraling further, "Hey, hey, het\y. You're okay. You're going to be just fine."

I put my hands up to his face, cupping the sides, "Does it really matter what they think?"

"No." He said, and took a deep breath.

"They're going to talk no matter what you do. Sometimes it will be good, sometimes it will be bad. You can't ever stop them from talking. They make money off of talking. They like to hear themselves talk, and sometimes other people like to hear them talk too. So, they make money off of it. You just happen to be their focus right now, and–I'm not saying this is any help–but there really isn't anything you can do about it." I kept stroking his cheek as he leaned down and put his forehead against my chest. "You can try to prove them wrong... because, I promise you, they are wrong, but at the end of the day, they will always talk. Hon, all that matters is what you think about yourself. If you're proud of yourself, then there really isn't anything else to be done. You speak for yourself, words and actions, you know your worth. If they don't listen, that's their fucking loss. Okay?"

"Okay." He sighed into me.

I lifted up his head, making him meet my eyes, "I'm serious, Lando. Only your opinion matters at the end of the day."

"And yours." He said, looking straight into my eyes.

I smiled, my eyes surely tinged with a bit of sadness, "I love you so much, Lando. I will always be proud of you. But that doesn't change the fact that your opinion of yourself will always be the most important. The people who know you–and I mean, truly know you–they are the only people outside of yourself that should be able to get to you, but only if they love you. Anyone that hates you is not worth your time.... This might sound cringy, but have you ever heard this: 'If you have a problem with me, call me. If you don't have my number then that means you don't know me well enough to have a problem'?"

He shook his head. "Keep that in mind when you hear people say those things, okay?" I said.

"Yeah... okay." He said, his eyes still sad.

"Cami," he said slowly.

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay close tomorrow? Like as close as possible?"

"Okay... yeah." I said, a soft smile crossing my face. "Always."

I knew he was exhausted, emotionally and physically after the day, but Lando insisted on hearing about what was weighing on my mind. So, I told him.

I let it all out. And it felt better than I ever thought it could. Sharing in each other's worry. Sharing the burden of the other.

We climbed into bed after, and I watched Lando slowly fall asleep. Every once in a while, a crease would form between his eyebrows, and I would gently brush my thumb across it, wishing I could just rub it away and make sure it never came back.