Karkats p.o.v
Its been...almost 6 years ever since you left....it still hurts..i know i shouldn't be sad anymore..but i just cant help but to think of you. Every where i go everywhere i look....i see you, nothing else...just you... it paines me knowing i could have stopped this...yet i didnt... "nepeta"...does that make me a failure? Because if dose then so be it... only if i could have gone back in time... stopped you ahead of time instead of running away like i did....im fucking fool ain't i.....
"Im sorry nepeta, i really miss you"
Although youre not here anymore...i still talk to nothing like you are... which hurts me even more.. why couldnt i have seen you slipping away..... feeling diffrent feeling useless... ever since you went away ive been in and out of mental hospitals.....they keep telling me the same thing over and over and over again. .. "your death was not my fault" how is it not my fault. ...i could have stopped you if i just payed attention. .. but i didnt.... I failed. ... its been exactly 3 or more years that ive been self meultilating.... i know i shouldn't. .. but it keeps me from feeling anything.....kanaya dosent know....i know shes has stopped me from killing my self...many times... equius just went of the deep end and just lost control over his emotions...hes been on a mental hospital for almost 3 years now... seeing a therapist every other day... im happy hes getting the help he needs... im proud of him...but me being the stupid asshole i am....im not getting the help i need. .. im being selfish. .. i fall asleep... everytime i do all i see is you... your face your voice just everything about you..... it really hurts... everytime i go to hug you.... you're gone.... i wake up in a cold sweat and heavy breathing...then cry... i really just want to end it..
YOU ARE READING
nepetas last goodbye
Randomnepeta feels as if she doesn't belong anymore she feels like no one cares. ever since equius and sollux left she hasn't been the same. the voices finally get to her.
