Just One More Tear to Cry

Part 32

Jimin lay on his small, threadbare bed, his body wracked with pain from the beatings he had endured. The room was sparsely furnished, the only light coming from a dim, flickering bulb that barely chased away the encroaching shadows. He was utterly exhausted, not only from the physical trauma but also from the crushing blow of losing all his money. The shock of having everything snatched away so suddenly was almost too much to bear.

He gingerly placed a hand over his swollen belly, his heart aching with fear and concern. Despite his best efforts, he couldn't shake the anxiety that gripped him—was the baby alright? His thoughts raced with worry, each movement a reminder of his vulnerability. The hunger gnawed at him, making him feel even weaker, while the physical bruises from the attack left him feeling immobilized and frail.

Jimin's thoughts drifted to his family, now painfully absent from his life. He longed for the soothing touch of his eomma, the comforting presence of his appa, or the gentle embrace of his halmoni. The void left by their absence was a heavy blanket of sorrow that wrapped around him. But most of all, he missed his husband—his protector, his confidant. He wished for his husband's arms to envelop him, to chase away the fear and pain, to remind him that he was not alone in facing these trials.

The stark loneliness he felt was almost tangible, a heavy, oppressive force that made it hard for him to breathe. Every creak of the old building, every gust of wind outside, seemed to echo his sense of isolation. He was alone in this small, dingy room, carrying the weight of his pregnancy and the crushing burden of solitude.

Jimin tried to muster the strength to stand, to dust off the feelings of abandonment that seemed to cling to him. But no matter how hard he tried to push them away, the feeling of being utterly alone, with no one to rely on, was a constant torment. The helplessness of facing such a daunting challenge by himself, while carrying the precious life of his baby, felt like an insurmountable mountain. The thought of navigating this harsh world without the support he so desperately needed was almost too overwhelming to bear.

Jimin didn't go to work, knowing full well that he wouldn't be able to even stand, let alone endure a full shift. So here he was, lying in his bed, consumed by a whirlwind of worries and physical pain. His mind raced with thoughts of how he would manage the entire month without a single penny. The idea of not having enough money even for a cup of noodles tormented him.

Desperation gnawed at him as he felt the hollow ache of hunger. He painfully attempted to sit up, deciding to make himself a glass of milk—the only semblance of nourishment he could think of. But as he moved, a sharp, excruciating pain shot through his back, a cruel reminder of the heavy blow he had taken from the robbers. He gritted his teeth, trying to push through the pain. After several agonizing attempts, he managed to stand with the help of the wall. Tears of pain and frustration flowed freely down his cheeks.

With great effort, he shuffled to the kitchen and managed to prepare a glass of milk with the last bit of milk powder he had. Each movement felt like a battle, and every step was a painful reminder of his helplessness. As he sipped the milk, tears continued to flow, mixing with the warm liquid. He felt an overwhelming sense of guilt and sorrow for his unborn baby, who was being deprived of proper nourishment.

Jimin sat back down, cradling the glass in his hands, and spoke softly to his child, his voice trembling with emotion.

"My baby," he whispered, "I'm so sorry. I wish I could give you everything you deserve. I wish I could make sure you have all the food and care you need. But right now, it's so hard. I'm trying my best, but it feels like my best isn't enough."

He paused, swallowing the lump in his throat as he felt another pang of guilt.

"You deserve so much better than this," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world. And I promise, no matter how hard it gets, I will keep fighting for you. You are my strength, my hope. And I'm sorry that right now, I can't give you more. But I will find a way. I have to. For you."