Rekindled Ishq

24~ Goodbye?

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˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
 
Oh, I hope you're happy
But not like how you were with me
I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go
So find someone great, but don't find no one better
I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

Kian’s pov

Dear Ru,

Day 5686 of Writing and probably the last time I do write to you. There's exactly 90 days for the year to end, 90 days until I believed we’d be together forever. You ruined it or did you? I hate you,I really hate you. How could you ever think of accusing me, Ru? How could you ever think bad of my pure love towards you? What in this entire world ever made you think that I was using you Ru? It's been two weeks to our fight, every night before I sleep or every morning the moment I wake up, All I think about is you.

The same hope lingered in my heart this morning, hoping you'd return instead all I got was a call that wrenched my heart. YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED. Am I that bad? Am I such a fucking asshole who doesn't deserve to be with you? I know I’m a bastard,I can't keep my anger to myself. I acted out of foolishness and rage towards the humiliation of my love. I couldn't just stand someone saying such words. I shouldn't have acted like that,I regret it very bad. The guilt will always remain in my heart as an eternal scar, always reminding me of my fault.

I should have calmed my nerves, took you aside and have a proper conversation, but, I couldn't. I’m so sorry I couldn't. I wish things didn't end this way,I wish we weren't this way. At the end, I am a loser. I lost as a son,a student, a brother, a lover and finally as a human.

Come back,Ru. You know my anger, I was a fool. I’m not gonna say I was always right but I wasn't always wrong either. Just once,look back at all the good times we had, the true promises I made you, walk back to me once, walk back to your ki. Maybe you didn't realise how much I really love you, I can prove it this time. I swear I can.

I have always loved you forever, Ru. Ever since we were kids, ever since I entwined my finger with yours and promised to be along side of you, ever since I realised that you were the one.

But I wasn't yours, unfortunately. The eyes that never once cried now can't stop the ever flowing tears of guilt,pain and wrath. Maybe after all, I am a fucking asshole who doesn't deserve you.

Ruanika Thalari, you were, you are and will always remain as the only woman I’ve ever loved. If you were to marry someone else, I hope it brings you joy and pleasure. I hope he keeps you happy and safe. I hope you have a beautiful life with him but please don't forget me, a man named Kian Dhananjay Vasista who loves you like he breathes.

You may not accept me but I beg you, never say a word against what I had for you. It was all true, from smallest affirmations to biggest promises, every bit of. Yet again, all these thousands of letters with specified destination will remain without reaching it.

At the end, I realised one thing. Not all sunsets are beautiful and at times the sun doesn't once again rise afterall. My greatest fear is finally here, Here's to the tragic end of this incomplete love story.

This is the end of you and me, of us.

My palms are aching to feel your thorns.

Goodbye.

The pen between my fingers fell to this ground. Tears dropping from my eyes on the book smudging the words from ny heart.

It was done,we were done.