Fear

54 • Returning home

The day Emily was discharged from the hospital felt surreal. The sterile smell of antiseptic, the constant beeping of machines, and the cold, impersonal walls of the hospital had almost become an odd sort of comfort. Leaving it all behind was both a relief and a step into the unknown.

I wheeled her to the exit in a wheelchair, her body still quite fragile but much stronger, wrapped up in a thick coat to step into the freezing winter air. The cold hit us as the automatic doors slid open. I looked down to see her smiling weakly, her eyes filled with a mix of relief and happiness.

"It's good to be outside again," she murmured, her voice still weak but stronger than it had been in weeks.

I nodded, stroking my hand over her head as I wheeled her to the taxi. "Yeah, it is."

The drive back to the helipad was quiet but calm. Emily leaned against the window, watching the world go by with a distant look in her eyes. I stole glances at her. I still felt a pang of guilt, but she never held a grudge-that was one of the many things I admired about her.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, a hint of worry in my voice. Even though she was strong enough to leave the hospital, I had the gnawing feeling that her mental scars would take much longer to heal-if they ever would. I took her hand and squeezed it gently.

She smiled weakly but said nothing, turning her head to look back at the window as the city lights flashed past. I guess that was her answer. I frowned and sighed.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered. I couldn't help it.

I didn't think she was going to answer, I'd kind of resigned when she finally said, "Don't be. It wasn't your fault."

But it was my fault. If I'd settled the situation with X four years ago, it wouldn't have affected either of us. I let him get out of control, threatening me, and then he found out about Emily: I knew everything was going to blow up.

I tried to protect her, but I made a stupid decision. I let my paranoia take over. I made the mistake of taking her away from the safety of the institution. Only me, Jack, Nate, and in the past, Dylan, knew the location of the facility. It was therefore pretty stupid of me to think that X would find out and infiltrate. I look back now and think it would've been safer to keep Emily at the institution, protected by the security guards. Maybe all this wouldn't have happened.

-

When we finally pulled up to the institution, a sense of calm washed over me. It was still our home, despite everything that had happened. I helped Emily out of the car, supporting her as we made our way inside.

As we walked through the old bunker and into the main building, familiar sounds and smells came back to me. The smell of rust, blood, and dampness filled the air. I hated that smell. The distant sounds of patients shouting, conversations, and the occasional noise of equipment traveled through the corridors with us as we made our way back to the bedroom. Unfortunately, as grim as the place was, it was our home.

The staff greeted us with a mixture of confused glances, uneasy expressions, and brief smiles. Some of them hadn't expected us to return. They welcomed Emily back more than me, clearly still holding opinions of me. I didn't blame them, I did a lot of bad things before I met Emily. But I was ready to prove that I'd changed. I knew it would take time to gain their trust, but I was no longer the cruel man they feared.

Emily gazed up at me as she walked slowly beside me, a hint of uncertainty or worry in her expression.

"Hmm?" I gave her a questioning look, wanting her to speak. I could see in her eyes that she had something on her mind.