Fear

55 • The proposal

The past few months had been a whirlwind of emotions and trauma, but now, as things began to settle and Emily was almost fully recovered from her injuries, we both felt the need to move on, to create a future untainted by the chaos of the past.

It really amazed me though, when I looked back, how she managed to look past the evil in me, even at the very beginning. When I kidnapped her - yes, she was terrified, and she had every right to be - but part of me believes she foresaw what was going to happen between us. I don't know if that's just me being delusional... maybe my mind is overthinking things, but I'd like to believe she did.

As for me, I knew the minute I saw her at that bar. I tried to convince myself that she was just another patient, as all the others that came before her had been, but the butterflies I felt in my stomach the moment she looked at me betrayed me.

Denial never works. If anything, denial only prolongs suffering until you finally give in and admit your true feelings. It took a long time for me to accept that. Now that I'd accepted it, and got over my philophobia, agoraphobia, and depression, I could move on knowing that I didn't have to be afraid anymore.

But looking forward, the only logical step I could think of now was marriage. To be honest, it wasn't something we'd actually talked about, but I knew it had crossed her mind at some point, as it had mine.

I began to make plans to propose to her. It involved sneaking out to shop for an engagement ring without making her suspicious. So one afternoon, when I was sure she was busy, I asked Lee to keep her distracted while I nipped out. I took the helicopter to Vancouver and began the search.

-

The city buzzed with energy as I wandered through the bustling streets. I visited several jewellery stores, each one filled with glittering displays of diamonds and gemstones. My eyes scanned over countless rings, each one more dazzling than the last, but none of them felt quite right. I wanted something unique, something that would capture Emily's essence. It needed to be elegant yet understated, graceful and beautiful, just like her.

After hours of searching, I found myself in a small, tucked-away boutique. The shop had an old-world charm, with wooden shelves lined with vintage jewellery and antique trinkets.

An elderly jeweller greeted me warmly, his eyes twinkling with curiosity as I explained what I was looking for. He led me to a display case and pulled out a velvet-lined tray. My eyes were immediately drawn to a delicate ring in the center.

The ring was exquisite. It featured a solitaire diamond set in a platinum band, flanked by smaller emeralds on either side. The diamond sparkled with a brilliance that seemed to capture the light from every angle, while the emeralds added a touch of colour and uniqueness - and as I remembered, Emily once told me green was her favourite colour. The band was intricately detailed with tiny engravings, giving it a timeless, almost ethereal quality.

"This one," the jeweller said softly, "is quite a rare find, perfect for the perfect lady."

I nodded enthusiastically. "I'll take it," I said, a huge smile on my face.

As the jeweller carefully packaged the ring, my mind wandered, imagining slipping it onto Emily's finger. The ring was perfect, and now, all that was left was to plan the proposal.

-

Planning the proposal made me nervous. I was completely confident in my decision, but I didn't entirely trust myself that I wouldn't fumble the words or make a fool of myself at the wrong moment. I wanted everything to be perfect.

The memory of our first date night, the night we truly connected, was etched in my mind - the smile on her face, how utterly gorgeous she looked, the food, the wine, the dancing...