Gentle (a Siobhan story)

Chapter 1: The Confession

1082 words
5904 characters

T/W for mentions of abuse and S/A

It was Monday morning and Mary was walking into work, not so happy to see her bitch of a boss, Siobhan, but trying to have a positive attitude. She walked into Siobhan's office, taking a deep breath, ready to deal with anything, when she heard what sounded like the end of an angry phone call conversation. Siobhan turned around and looked mad.

"Didn't your mum ever tell you not to eavesdrop on private conversations?" Siobhan was just on a call with her boyfriend Roger, who, as abusive as he was, she depended on deeply. Not only for money, she just couldn't fathom being alone.

"Sorry, I was just walking in." Mary says "Where am I today? Baby room?"

"No. You're with me actually."

"What?" Mary asks in disbelief. It was bad enough she accidentally walked in on the call, and now she had to spend the day in there too?

"Mhm. I need help. And all the rooms are full." Siobhan said.

"Ok." Mary was hesitant, but there was something different about Siobhan today, something she couldn't quite place. Something softer.

They didn't talk for a while, just sat in silence on opposite ends of the desk. Until eventually Mary looked up at Siobhan. She saw something in the older woman's eyes. She looked sad, sort of drained.

"Siobhan, are you ok?" She asked with genuine concern. No matter how much of a bitch her boss was, she couldn't help but feel concerned.

"I'm fine." Siobhan said almost immediately, like a reflex.

Mary almost left it at that, almost let it go into the silence, but something inside her told her Siobhan was not ok. "I don't believe you."

"You what?" Siobhan looked up angrily at Mary, questioning if she heard right. She didn't expect to hear that coming from the soft-spoken girl before her. The one who never spoke up for herself, let alone someone else.

"I'm sorry, I just. You're obviously not ok. What's going on?"

Siobhan was about to snap back when she realized, Mary was the only person at either of the nurseries that paid enough attention to her to notice something was off. Without thinking she said, "You're right." She didn't notice the tears streaming from her eyes until she felt a gentle hand wiping them from her face.

"Oh god, I'm sorry." Mary had a genuine sadness in her eyes for the older woman. "I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine." Siobhan took a deep breath, finally letting herself go. She cried and Mary pulled her in for a hug. Siobhan rested her head on the woman's shoulder for what had to have been at least 3 minutes before finally calming down. She realized how comforting the hug was and how she didn't remember the last time she'd hugged someone like this. "M-Mary," she said, pulling away, "thank you."

"For what? I just made you cry." Mary looked genuinely confused and it made Siobhan laugh a little.

"No, no. I should be sorry. I don't want to burden you with my problems, just forget anything happened." Siobhan backed away from the younger woman and ran her hands through her hair.

Mary watched as Siobhan put herself together. She watched how easy it was for the woman to act like nothing was wrong. She didn't want to forget about it, it wouldn't sit right with her if she did. "No, I can't just forget that." Mary looked into Siobhan's eyes wondering what could've caused her to cry. "Siobhan, you're never like this, you're never... vulnerable. What's wrong?"

Mary was right. Siobhan was never vulnerable. She put up a wall a long time ago to keep herself safe from people that could hurt her, but that also meant she didn't open herself up to love. She was scared to say anything, but she didn't know how much longer she could last like this.

"It's Roger." She looked down at her feet, not able to look Mary in the eye without being sent into another fit of tears. "He hits me."

The room was silent.

"I swear, at first it was just for the money. Then he gave me things and told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world, and I fell for it. After I did, he began to fill my head with insecurities. It started small. Every so often he'd give me a look, or not let me kiss him, then it turned to controlling things like how late I'd come home. Eventually, he started punishing me for it. He-"

"You don't have to- if you don't want to." Mary had crouched down in front of Siobhan's chair and was now stroking her cheek. She'd never experienced this much vulnerability from anyone, let alone someone as closed off as Siobhan. She hated her, but couldn't help but feel bad for her. And something in her wanted to kill Roger for what he did to the poor woman.

"He started hitting me, then..." she continued, needing to get it off her chest, "Taking advantage of me." Siobhan felt tears streaming down her face again at this and she was grateful she had someone there to comfort her. "I told him no.. I- I tried so hard but he didn't listen. He never listened."

Mary hugged her again and this time Siobhan hugged her back. They sat there for a while before Mary spoke. "You don't deserve that, any of it. You- you can't go back."

Siobhan pulled back. "What?"

"I won't let you go back to him. He'll end up doing it again and I can't let that happen."

"Where would I go?" Siobhan looked scared and it hurt Mary's heart.

"You'll stay with me."

"You'd do that? For me?" Siobhan looked confused. "After the way I've treated you?"

"Hurt people hurt people, Siobhan. You don't deserve how he treats you, no matter how hard you've been on me." Mary stroked Siobhan's shoulder in an attempt to soothe her.

The touch was new to Siobhan. She'd never been one for physical touch, not even as a child. Her parents were very conservative and closed-off people. She was taught never to show emotion or to burden people with her problems. But now, she found herself melting into the touch.

Mary thought for a moment before saying, "Do you think you could get someone to cover for you? You shouldn't be here today."

Siobhan nodded.

The two got Autumn to cover for Siobhan and headed to Mary's house.

Hope you liked the first chapter 😝