The Love Contract | Alex Turner

Can I Call You Her Name?

Alex's POV

As I walk out of Marianne's hotel room, I can't help but think about what the hell just happened. Part of me wanted to walk back in the room and say I don't want this to be a one-time thing, that I have wanted to hold her like that for a long time. But I don't do that, I only have an hour or so to get ready for the final show of the tour. I head back to my room and begrudgingly get myself set to leave. 

As the lads and I arrive at the venue, I can't help but feel distracted by thoughts of Marianne again. Part of me wants to ditch the show and go back to her room, but I push through those thoughts and engage in the pre-show ritual with the boys. As the drinks start flowing like they always do my mind becomes more clouded. I hate this feeling, I don't get like this over a girl. 

The show eventually finishes without incident, but my mind is elsewhere the whole time. As we exit the stage Matt raises an eyebrow at me. 

"Yo what's wrong mate? You seem a bit off." Matt questions as we walk back to the dressing room.

"Nah, nothing's wrong mate. Just tired from being on tour, you know." I respond, trying to act like everything is alright. 

"Well, it's over now, and we can chill out for little, yeah?" Jame says, buzzing from the show. 

I nod slowly, smiling at Jamie's excitement. I'm ready for a break too, but right now it seems distant and unimportant compared to my thoughts of Marianne. I try not to let it show on my face though, not wanting anymore questions. 

"Alright well you know what time it is lads." Nick says with a friendly slap on the back. The guys cheer as we know this will be a long night of partying to end the tour. I agree to go out because it would be an obvious tell that something was up if I just went back to the hotel. We go to the bar we all went to the other night and are quickly ushered into vip just like before. It feels weird without Marianne here, empty almost.

As I continue to drink and cut up with the lads, my thoughts continue to grow more and more consuming. 

"'Ey mate look at the ladies that just arrived." Jamie says with a friendly poke to the side and a wink. 

Nick whistles in response to seeing the group of ladies. "Well I think we should introduce ourselves boys, it would be rude not to." Nick laughs and stands up. 

The boys make their way to the bar and I follow behind. The alcohol is making me more and more desperate to get rid of these thoughts, it wouldn't be a terrible idea to have some company tonight. 

As the boys crowd around the girls I try my best to be social but I am just not feeling it. 

"Great show tonight." A girl to my right says. 

"Hm? Oh, thanks." I say in response. 

The girl snakes her hand around my neck, "yeah I thought it was amazing, but I was looking at you the whole time." She says with lust in her eyes. 

"And why is that?" I ask, playing into the little game. 

She blushes and chuckles at my words. "Oh I think you know why." She whispers in my ear. 

"Mhm." I say putting on my usual charm. "Well how about I buy you a drink and we can talk all about it."

She happily agrees and I usher her towards the vip section and sit on the couch. 

I don't know what the conversation consists of, she just boasts about how she is such a fan and all that. I can't bring myself to even pretend to care what she's saying. 

"Yeah, well. Would you like to keep me company tonight, darling?" I say, bored of the small talk. 

The girl is eager from the offer and practically jumps from the couch. We walk over to where the rest of the lads and I tell them I'll be on my way. Matt gives me a questioning glance but I don't take notice of it. 

She is happy to come back with me, probably because of who I am, but I'm too drunk and desperate to care. 

We arrive at the hotel and I immediately rush her into my room and shut the door behind us. 

The girl quickly wraps her arms around my neck and we start making out. She kisses me rough and messily, grabbing and pulling at my hair. I lift her up and toss her on the bed. I remove the white button down from my body and let it fall to the floor. The girl whose name escapes me, frantically brings me down to the bed. I lay on top of her and begin to unbutton her top and rub her under her jeans. She is already panting at my touch and practically begging for me. 

"Fuck, Marianne-" I let slip out. 

"What?" The girl questions and quickly sits up. 

"I-fuck. I'm sorry." I say as my heart drops at the realization of what I just said. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" The girl yells as she buttons her shirt back up and heads for the door.

I can't even begin to defend myself before the door slams and the girl disappears.