Sawamura claps his hands with finality. "Team dismissed!"
In the shadow of night, the boys sluggishly move to grab their belongings, each going their separate ways home. Yamaguchi rolls his head to stretch his neck. Even though they had slept through most of it, the drive back to Karasuno from Tokyo was a tiring one that took all day. Tsukishima is one of the very few who seems to be unfazed. Wasting no time, he picks up his bags and walks away without a word. Yamaguchi, in turn, rushes to wish everyone goodnight and jogs after him.
"Hey Tsukki! Wait up!"
Yamaguchi has walked home from school with Tsukishima almost every day since elementary school. The silence between them is normal -- peaceful, even. It's usually the opportunity that Yamaguchi takes to reflect on his day. He can't help but voice his thoughts out loud, in the hopes that Tsukishima will reciprocate. "Even though it was just the outskirts, it was really fun going to Tokyo for the weekend, don't you think?" he ventures.
"I mean, not really," Tsukishima shrugs. "We were practicing the whole time. Didn't go anywhere or do anything."
"Oh, yeah..." The normally comfortable silence no longer feels comfortable. Yamaguchi gets an urge to redeem himself somehow. "What do you think about those other teams?" he tries. "They were really strong... It kinda worries me that we were losing over and over until Hinata and Kageyama showed up."
"What did you expect?" says Tsukishima. "Even the upperclassmen know how much the team relies on those freaks."
"That's true..."
Yamaguchi senses that Tsukishima isn't up for talking, for whatever reason. He doesn't want to pry; he knows better than to force Tsukishima into having an unwanted conversation. They continue to walk in silence, and for the first time, Yamaguchi wishes that something would break the uncomfortable spell -- a loud cicada, a stranger walking by on the other side of the street -- anything at all. But before they know it, Yamaguchi's house comes into view.
"Goodnight, Tsukki."
"Sure." Tsukishima doesn't break his stride as he continues walking.
Yamaguchi fumbles through his backpack for a key before he lets himself into his home. Once inside, he lets out a long exhale. Typical Tsukki. After taking off his shoes, he quietly pads down the hallway, so as to not disturb his sleeping parents. Once inside of his own bedroom, he plops onto his bed. It's been a while since he's gotten any genuine alone time. Now that the long weekend of constant exercise is over, he wants nothing more than to fall asleep on top of his sheets. His cell phone decides otherwise when it briefly vibrates in his pocket. Nearly on the verge of succumbing to sleep, Yamaguchi flips open the phone and squints at the glaring screen. There's no subject line, but the email that stares back makes him forget about sleep entirely.
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
[No Subject]
Yamaguchi-kun? I'm so sorry to bother you this late at night, but I didn't know who else to talk to. Are you still awake?
Yamaguchi sits up, suddenly extremely aware of his surroundings, his breathing -- everything. He quickly places the phone on the desk. He gets the feeling that it might explode at any moment. Something unexplainable possesses him. Unrehearsed, he begins peeking through his curtains and peeking in the hallway before he closes and locks his bedroom door. Yamaguchi isn't exactly sure why he's taking all these precautions, but it feels absolutely necessary. He turns on his desk lamp and gingerly picks up the phone, hesitating before carefully typing.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
Im still awake. Is everything okay?
He quickly flips the device closed and places it back on the desk. The lamp shines on the phone, isolating it, as if in interrogation.
"What could Yachi-san possibly want to talk about at this time of night?" he mutters.
The phone buzzes, startling him much more than it should have, but he opens it again nonetheless.
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
There was a big fight.
Yamaguchi fumbles with the phone as he types out his reply.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
Are you okay???
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
Oh yes, I'm alright! Sorry, I didn't mean to confuse you... Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun got in a really big fight.
He sighs in relief as the image of a battered Yachi fades away. Hinata and Kageyama argue all the time, but it's understandable that Yachi would be frightened by it -- especially since it might have been her first time experiencing a loud one.
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
Is it okay if I talk to you about it? I understand if you'd rather not, it's pretty late.
The time in the phone's upper-right corner reads 21:32. He figures that Yachi must wake up early for school, since it doesn't seem like a late time to him at all.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
Its no problem. Im glad youre okay
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
I don't feel good. For some reason, I feel terrible.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
What do you mean? What happened?
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
Usually yelling is scary enough to make me run away...
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
So you ran when Hinata and Kageyama started yelling?
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
I tried not to! I thought that it wouldn't be right for a manager.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
So what did you do?
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
I tried to get them to calm down, but it was like they didn't hear me at all.
Yamaguchi remembers instances when Hinata and Kageyama would completely fail to hear the captain's scoldings. It usually ended poorly, with the captain putting them in their place.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject] [draft]
Yeah haha, sounds about right
Yamaguchi's thumb nearly makes contact with the send button, but a follow-up message makes him freeze.
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
I tried my best to get them to stop yelling, and they didn't even look at me. It's like I wasn't even there. When they started grabbing and shoving each other, I ran away to get help. Tanaka-san ended up being the one who got them to stop.
His jaw drops. To his knowledge, Hinata and Kageyama have never gotten into a physical fight with each other before. His thumbs click the buttons on his phone to relay this information to her. "No wonder Yachi-san sounds so shaken up." He doesn't wait for her to reply.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
What happened after?
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
Tanaka-san made us all clean up and promise to go straight home. Hinata walked me to my bus stop. I've been home since I started texting you. I just haven't been able to sleep.
There was so much yelling and hitting. I've never actually seen a fight in person before. It was so scary. Every time I close my eyes I see them right in front of me.
If I don't have the power to stop my friends from fighting, how can I be someone strong enough to take care of the team the same way Shimizu-san does?
Am I that weak?
The wall of text is so full of information, Yamaguchi doesn't know where to start. He takes a seat and reads the messages several times over before he can come up with a proper response.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
Yachi-san, Im sorry that you had to go through all that. It does sound scary. I know you care a lot about Hinata and Kageyama.
He hesitates. Maybe it will be okay to tell her how he really feels. But would it really be okay? Yamaguchi blinks a few times before realizing that Yachi wouldn't be the type of person to mock him for being honest. If she's this open to talking about her deeper feelings, then she would probably also be open to hearing about them from others.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
But youre not weak. Being weak means giving up without trying your best. You tried your best
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
But I did give up. I ran away and begged Tanaka-san to help me.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
Is it weak to ask for help?
Yamaguchi stares at the words he unconsciously has given life to. A full six minutes pass without a reply. He slams his hands over his mouth to hold back the ghastly horror that wants to escape. His last response was so instinctive, he hadn't even realized that he was typing until his screen animated a pixelated envelope flying away. Another minute passes before he realizes he's finally done it. He's said something totally out of line, and Yachi has left him to dry.
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
I guess not. I never thought about it like that. You have a good point.
Yamaguchi clutches his chest and lets out a very dry wheeze of relief.
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
You're a pretty smart guy, Yamaguchi-kun.
He isn't quite sure whether it's a compliment or a sarcastic insult. Knowing Yachi, it's most likely the former.
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
I feel kind of better now. I'm sorry for keeping you up late. Thank you for listening to me. You're a good friend. :)
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
Its no problem :)
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
We should probably go to sleep. We still have school tomorrow.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
Yeah, youre right
SENDER: Hitoka Yachi
RE: [No Subject]
Goodnight.
SENDER: Tadashi Yamaguchi
RE: [No Subject]
Goodnight
Yamaguchi flips his phone closed and turns off his lamp. The darkness immediately envelopes him before his eyes can properly adjust. A dull, white glow of "23:07" floats on his bedside table and helps lead him to bed. Yamaguchi settles into the comforting embrace of his blankets and falls asleep clutching his phone to his chest.
YOU ARE READING
On Your Own ( a Haikyuu fanfiction )
FanfictionYamaguchi has never needed anything more than Tsukishima's friendship. Yachi has never known a life without nervousness and fear. But during their first year at Karasuno High School, they quickly learn that things can't stay as they've always been...
