The Invisible Girl

Shadows of yesterday

On a day like today i just remind of those days, those dark blur like memories. I'll go back to the place i wish not to be, I'll look back to the pictures i wish not to see. I will go back to the part of me I hate the most. I'll go back to the life i try to run from. To something that I cannot escape from, To my yesterday's. Like everyone I have a page in my life that I do not wish to read again.

I was never like any other girls; i was never cheerful, bright, and happy. There was always a dark gloomy vibe all over me. Everyone avoided me, more like they were so afraid of me. To the point they wouldn't even let me get closer to them.

As a child I had a complicated family life, with no one to take care of me. We used to be a big family, my single mom, my three cousin and my aunt, used to live in my grandmother house. Since my cousins were all boys i just grew up being more like a tomboy. My mom lived with us until i turn 7 then one day she just left me there and dissappear.

I knew my grandma and my mom used to fight a lot but then one day she just left me there. When they always fight my grandma calls my older aunt ( the mother of my cousins whom I grew up with) . She live her life marrying another man so she never raised her child's from the start, my mom did.

When she always came home all she did was torturing my mom with words. And I think at that time my mom just couldn't take it any longer.

So, because of all this mess, nobody give me any attaintion. I always wear the same worn out white dress with my long socks with some old sandals. I can say everything about me was so strange. I had long dirty nail, and a long messy brown hair with unmanaged bangs. The kids even named me after the ' long nailed girl '.

Now that I think about it, I used to look like i came out straight from some horror movies Even my behavior was so strange, I don't like to talk with anyone. I feel like I had nothing to say, even if I did i didn't think anyone would be interested to hear me out. So whenever I'm with peoples i feel soffocated. So i chose to always watch and observe others.I obviously had no friends.

Since nobody felt my existence I was more like an invisible girl. Everyday I always sit at the flagpole and see the other kids play, laughing and run around from here and there. Do u know what I used to think back then at that moment "It must have be so fun to play like that right?". "I'm so jealous ". That kinda thoughts. Of course, no one wanted to play with me.

Just like that, My boring, lonely school life began in kindergarten and continued into middle school.

But Middle school wasn't any different. In fact, it was worse.......