Look Alive, Sunshine (Frerard)

{1 PILOT CHAPTER-Frank POV}

My silly boys <3

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TW: Mentions of su1cide attempts, alc0hol addiction, $lurs, and $h 

Rain falls slowly but surely as I walk home, disguising the tears staining my face. I went to visit the corner store, mainly to get away from my family. I came home from school to my dad being drunk (Which is not a surprise, honestly) and my mom hiding from him in their bedroom, locked behind the thin wood door. I had walked in quietly to my dad muttering and incoherently cussing at anything and everything.

-

"I-Hi dad." I say carefully. He turns around quickly, looking at me angrily.

"Oh, it's you." I nod.

"Yeah, its me." I responded sassily, which was a mistake. He reached out in a quick motion and slapped my face quickly, to which my eyes started watering.

"Don't sass me boy!" He demands firmly. I clear my throat and nod in response, not saying anything. I'm too scared my voice will crack and he'll notice I'm weak. I then muttered something about walking to the store for something, and left. I try to walk away, but he reaches out and grabs my sleeve, to which I almost fall. I let out a confused grunt.

"Quit wearin' long sleeves, its the middle of summer, fag." He grunts. I nod.

"Yes-yes dad." I leave it at that and leave. I'm not going in public with my arms out. They're too fresh for that, and I'm not ready for any of the questions and stares that come with that.

-

I walk into the corner store, trying to stop thinking about why I had walked here in the first place. I sit at one of the tables in the corner of the small shop, staring out the window into the street. I sit in silence for a while watching people walk back and forth, and cars zoom past. I count 6 people who ran red lights, and think about how easy it is to just do things. Whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want to. I get up without thinking, and buy a single razor blade. My sleeve falls down a bit as I hand her the cash, which reveals my skinny, scar-ridden wrist. She obviously sees this because she slowly hands the item to me before saying.

"There are healthier coping mechanisms, you know." I nod at her.

"I know." I say, before turning on my heels and leaving. I don't need this conversation, especially not with an old lady I don't even know. I pocket the blade, and walk out. I don't know where I'm going, but my feet do, and they take me to an alley behind the park. The sound of kids playing fades as I slowly walk into the damp street, and take a seat.

I take the blade out, and twirl the shiny metal between my fingers. This goes on for I don't know how long. My fingers get nicked a few times from the blade, and blood starts dripping onto the wet concrete, but I pay no mind. 

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I look at the caller ID.

Dad

I sigh to myself before answering.

"Hello?" I slowly answer.

"Where are you fag? It's getting late, I need food." I open my mouth to respond, but don't know what to say.

"I-Dad you're an adult, I shouldn't have to cook for you?" The statement ends as a nervous question, because I know I'm going to get yelled at, cussed out and called slurs.

"What'd you just say to me faggot?" He starts, and I can practically smell the alcohol on his breath through the phone.

"You don't talk back to me, I'm your Father! You understand? You talk back to me one more time I'll hurt you so bad you won't ever think about it again." I clear my throat to keep tears from falling.

"Yeah, okay." I mutter back.

"Say it right, bitch." He sneers.

"Yes, Dad." He grunts.

"That's what I thought, fag."  suddenly can't stop a sob from escaping my lips, and once it does I completely break down.

"Crying, huh?" He starts, and I can practically hear him smirking. "What, you gonna go and cut yourself because of this? That's all you seem to do when you're sad. Cut yourself and complain like a little bitch. You're just like your Mother." 

I can't fucking take this anymore. And he's right. That's all I fucking do. is hurt myself. And I deserve it. I deserve every little cut and bruise I give myself and get from others.

"Dad-just stop, let me fucking be." I say, a hint of aggression in my voice. He starts to respond, but I throw my phone as hard as I can at the brick wall across from me. Tears roll down my face non-stop as my phone cracks and falls against the pavement. I take another look at the silver blade between my fingers, and then at my wrist. I run the sharp edge over my skin, horizontally the first few times, then again, vertically. Blood quickly flows from the wound. A heavy, steady stream of it, and it doesn't stop. 

I'm light headed after a while, and I slump over, my eyes fluttering closed. 

I've lost so much blood.

"Hey! Hey kid, wake the fuck up!" I hear a voice, but they sound so far away.

"Fuck...Hey you! Call 911, this guy is bleeding out, and quickly." I feel something being tied around they gash in my fore arm before everything is black.

-

The steady beeping of a heart monitor wakes me up, and bright lights bombard my vision. A short kid in glasses sits in the guest chairs of the room.

"You're awake! Thank God." I nod.

"Who th'fuck are you?"I slur tiredly.

"Oh yeah-I'm Mikey Way. I found you bleeding out in an alleyway-" Suddenly it all comes flooding back to me.

"I'm still alive?" I ask, my voice cracking. He nods.

"I-yeah?" Tears fall down my face.

"Fucking hell. You should've left me be, kid. I didn't want saving. Now I have to go back to my drunk fucking Dad goddammit!" I'm screaming at this point, and a Doctor walks in.

"Frank Iero?" I nod.

"Yes, that's me." I grumble. He sighs.

"Do you remember any details?" I nod.

"Yeah, I tried to fucking kill myself and this kid saved me." The Doctor nods.

"Yes, well, we've decided you qualify for inpatient mental health care-" I interrupt him.

"I don't have the money for that." I tell him. He nods.

"You're Mom opted you into it, and she will pay for it." I grumble. My only excuse and it didn't work. He continues.

"You start right after you're discharged from the hospital, and you'll be there for a few months."

I grumble, throwing my head into my hands.

At least I don't have to go back to my Dad? 

-

I've been struggling recently can you tell sjsjsj

Drink water

Take your meds

Have a good day/night <3