Déjà Vu

Chapter 3

"All I do is keep my head up. But it's hard to keep my pace...", I heard Isaac singing on stage. I hummed a little bit to the sound, while Rosanne kept telling me, I would do it well. I was nervous, of course, but strangely I always feel calm before something important would happen. "Lost in my own identity. I'm on the run, run, run, run, run." I loved his song as much as Luktelk. Maybe it was basic but it was still a very good song. I sighed. Why was everyones' song so nice? I felt so untalented and boring. Rosanne noticed my smile fading. "What's wrong, my love?", she asked me, looking at me like a worried mum. "I just feel so unspecial... Like all of this year's Eurovision songs seem to be so good, but mine is...nothing." Her eyebrows narrowed. "Why would you say that?! Didn't you see those fans screaming the lyrics when you sang on stage? They loved your song!", Rosanne replied. She grabbed my shoulders and looked intensively into my eyes: "Trust me. You'll win."

"Our next performance is from...Celestia Danz!" I heard the people cheering and clapping into their hands. My heart was racing and I took a deep breath. Before I went on stage, I felt a pair of eyes watching me from behind. Why did it feel like it was...
I stood in front of the whole audience. Now I didn't recognize just one, but thousands pairs of eyes looking up to me. I wore a black dress that was reaching to the ground. It was strapless and there was a lot of glitter on it. They braided my hair and put also some glitter stones into it. My jewelry belonged to my grandmother who gave it to me on my sixth birthday. She said that I would wear it one day and think of her. She was sick at that time and unfortunately didn't make it to my seventh birthday. My makeup was decent but they gave me some grey eyeshadow and a black eyeliner. The make up artists also didn't skimp on highlighter but I liked the end result. Now I stood there, the music started to play and I closed my eyes. "Where are you? Don't leave me here all on my own...", I sang and the audience moved their light sticks in a perfect rhythm. When I got to the main part I became really emotional.

The cheering was loud when I finished and I felt relieved. They seemed to really like my song and that made me extremely happy. I bowed down with a big smile and left the stage. The audience was still screaming for me when I arrived backstage again. Rosanne came jumping towards me and hugged me tightly. "You did so good!!", she shouted. "Woooh", Joost screamed and clapped into my hands. He already had his performance. "I love your song, normally I don't like that genre but you slayed, girl!", he called out with his strong Dutch accent. I chuckled. I felt this gaze which I had recognized earlier on me again. I looked around until I locked eyes with a familiar person. The white-haired boy leaned against the wall a few meters away and watched me. When I caught him, he quickly looked away. I remembered the accident I had with him a few hours ago and decided to apologize again. When I was ready to walk up to him, a loud voice announced his performance. He quickly looked at me again and then went on stage. I breathed out loudly. I was relieved I didn't have to talk to him but on the other hand I still felt embarrassed because of my clumsy behavior earlier. Maybe I had the chance to talk to him at the party. The intro of Rim Tim Tagi Dim started to play. I walked over to the stairs that led to the stage. I remained there and watched Marko sing. His voice was raspy and deep. There was a big difference between his normal voice and the voice he sang with. I liked both. When the instrumental part came on and he made this funny movement with his arm, he saw me. His eyes followed the camera that filmed him at a 360 degree angle until it stood directly in my direction. His gaze fell on me. I didn't know what to do so I continued looking at him. The eye contact didn't last that long because he had to turn around again but it caused a goosebump on my arms anyway. I decided to go back because I felt like a stalker and I surely didn't want him to feel uncomfortable. "Are you okay?", Joost asked me as he walked over to me. "Yeah, why?" He looked at me with a suspicious mimic and raised eyebrows. I tilted my head to the side. "Your cheeks are weirdly red."

All performances were executed so we were allowed to enter the bar that was located a few meters away from the arena. I sat down on a barstool and ordered an Aperol. "Would you like some crisps with it?", the guy behind the counter asked. I nodded and he smiled politely. He looked young, maybe he was still going to school. His hair was brown and parted in the middle, his eyes were green and he was pretty muscular. He felt my gaze and looked at me. I didn't break the eye contact but decided to speak up to him since I was alone anyway. "May I ask what your name is?" He chuckled. "You may. I'm Alessandro" "I'm Celestia. You look pretty young for working in a bar." I hoped I didn't insult him with that statement. Fortunately he laughed. "A lot of people say that to me but actually I'm twenty-one." My eyes widened. How was that possible?! He was older than me?! He really had good genes. "Wow, that came unexpecting... Well, sorry. I didn't know", I replied, feeling my cheeks becoming hot. He handed me my drink over and took a crisp from my plate before he placed it in front of me. "I'll take that crisp as an apology." I giggled nodding and he shoved it into his mouth. "Celestia! Where were you?! You'll have an interview in 5 minutes!", Rosanne shouted while she walked over to me. "Oh, sorry. I didn't know." What was going on today?! That whole day was just embarrassing. Rosanne sighed and I noticed Alessandro trying to keep a straight face. "Can you watch over my drink while I'm gone?", I asked her and she nodded but Alessandro took my Aperol and put it on a shelf behind the counter. "I'll take it and give it to you when you're back. Is that alright?", he asked. I thanked him with a big smile and then walked towards the cameras.
The interviewer recognized and greeted me. I hated how these people acted so fake like they would be the greatest assholes without that overly friendly ploy. "Okay, are you ready?", he asked me and I nodded. They counted from 3 to 1 and I fixed my hair really quick. A short melody appeared that seemed to be the intro and then the interviewer spoke:" Today, we're here with our Austrian representative Celestia Danz!" He clapped a little bit and I smiled. Inside I just wanted it to end. "Okay, so the first question: How do you feel after your second ever performance?" I didn't even question the fact that he knew it was my second performance I ever had. "Umm, well I feel really good actually. The audience was so supportive and motivated. I especially loved the loud cheering at the end, of course." I chuckled and he did the same.