Déjà Vu

Chapter 6

Content Warning: Sexual abuse

I sat on the edge of my bed with my arms hugging my knees and my eyes focused on the box with the food. It was 17:14 pm and according to my calculations the interview must have finished a few minutes ago. You shouldn't trust my calculations though because I was always the worst in mathematics back then. "You can do it! Just knock on his door, hand him his food and leave. That shouldn't be so difficult", I mumbled, trying to give myself some courage. This cowardly ass of mine wasn't even able to touch his hand for a second without starting to overthink, whether he liked or disliked the briefly meet with my skin. I sighed and threw my head back. "Okay, Celestia. You got this!" I straightened my legs and stood up with a sudden ambition. After I checked myself in the mirror really quick, I grabbed the food and my room card and made my way to the door. It was quiet in the hallway. It seemed like nobody was there or asleep. When I realized that it was possible Marko wouldn't have been in his room either, I panicked. "Oh god", I whispered and thought about returning to mine but I decided that it was the best to simply try it. So I knocked on his door and waited. I felt kind of relieved when nobody opened the door. That meant I didn't have to talk to him. Somehow it also disappointed me that he wasn't there. When I turned around to go back to my room, I heard a well-known voice. "Celestia!", Marko called me and I felt the heat growing on my cheeks. I faced him and he came smiling up to me. "Hey, uhm...Since you couldn't eat at the cafeteria because of your interview, I thought I could grab some of the left-over food for you. The box kept the warmth inside so it shouldn't have gotten too cold by now." I handed it to him and his smile grew even wider. "Thank you! I'm actually really hungry.", he said and took it. Our hands touched which made my legs go weak. My cheeks still felt hot and I was afraid I looked like a cherry. "I...I don't like eating alone. Do you want to keep me company?" He stuttered and looked to the ground like he just asked me something risky. Something changed since we came back from the café. We were a lot more nervous when we were around each other. Was it too obvious that I found out I probably liked him more than a friend? "Yes, of course", I answered and followed him into his room. We sat down on the couch and I watched him shove the noodles slowly into his mouth. He looked adorable eating his food.

It was silent most of the time but it didn't feel awkward. When he finished he put the box on the little table and rubbed his hands together like he used them to eat instead of the fork I brought along with the food. "Thank you again. It was delicious", he said and looked me in the eyes. We held the eye contact for a while and my heart sped up with every second but I couldn't look away. His gaze was so hypnotizing, it was like something inside of me forced me to not break the eye contact. "Your eyes are beautiful." My heartbeat froze and my eyes grew wide. Why did he just shoot that compliment randomly out of his mouth?! My hands shook and I tried to hide that by putting them under my thighs. "Th-Thank you." He cleared his throat and averted his gaze. I felt cold and distanced when he decided to look at his hands instead. "Marko...You told me I could always talk to you if I needed someone", I started my sentence. He looked quickly up, his glare worried. I swallowed the big lump in my throat down and took a deep breath. Was it right to tell him about my problems? Maybe he didn't even care about me... "Well...I actually...need someone I could talk to", I whispered and looked down. "Of course! I will listen, I promise." Marko lifted my chin up with his index and middle finger. He forced me to look at him. He was a lot closer than he was about 2 seconds ago which made my heart race again. My lips were parted and felt so dry out of nowhere, I wanted him to kiss them, wet them and give me the warmth I craved for so long. My breath was caught in my lungs. Was it just me who felt like that? His fingers left my chin and he leaned back again. "Do you want to talk about it...now?" I lost my voice. The only sound that left my mouth was my shaky breath. "I...I think I have to go", I whispered and stood up. Without looking back I rushed out of his room, back into the hallway. My cheeks felt like they were burning. I ran the stairs down until I reached the main door on the ground floor. "Celestia!", I heard Mr. Lork shouting but I continued running. The sun was about to go under and the sky was covered in the colors pink, orange and blue. I hurried down the street, ignoring the excited screams of my fans. Luckily they didn't follow me.