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After the group had returned to the hotel and all sat down in the parlor, Talia found herself to be in a pleasant mood. The events that had previously played out, while unfortunate, had seemed to strengthen the group's otherwise fickle bond.
Alastor was there, Talia had noticed once she entered the lobby, the demon simply standing idly in the corner of the room. Not doing anything too spontaneous or suspicious, yet their last interaction was still harshly imprinted into her mind. She did her best to ignore him.
Such humorous tranquility was shattered the instant the portal from before formulated in the middle of the room; Charlie and Vaggie came tumbling out of it, the force of whatever occurred previously sending them sprawling onto the ground. Almost subconsciously, Talia sat up, going to offer assistance to the two girls and pull them both to their feet.
She winced back slightly as she watched Charlie push herself up off the ground — the blonde quickly bounded up the stairs, tears pricking the corners of her gaze as she was quick to rush out of sight of the others.
"Oh no..." Talia murmured, glancing at her friend's retreating form with concern. "That doesn't look too good." Fluffy ears twitching slightly, she turned and made an effort to follow her — only to be stopped by a hand clasping around her own.
She turned around, confused, only to see Vaggie staring at her with an odd mix of sorrow and disappointment; the reason for such consternation was unknown, and it caused Talia's own mood to dampen slightly. "Vaggie? What happened? Did the meeting not go well?"
Vaggie didn't respond immediately; her gaze flickered downward for a moment, before meeting Talia's own once more. "I know I've asked you this before, but I'm going to ask again. Talia, why are you in Hell?"
Talia froze at the question, their hands still intertwined. "I don't... I don't want to answer that," she replied, voice a soft mumble as her gaze darted anxiously to the floor. "What does that have to do with the meeting?"
"Hey, leave 'er alone," Angel called out from his spot on the parlor's couch, his pairs of arms folded over his chest. "I'm gonna take a guess and say that meeting didn't go well... don't blame that on us, toots. Ain't our fault, and it's definitely not Talia's."
Talia cast a grateful glance in Angel's direction, her expression softening ever so slightly. She was brought back to reality by Vaggie clearing her throat. "Okay, Talia... can I just see something real quick, then?"
Talia tilted her head, slightly confused; her heart nearly dropped into her stomach as she watched Vaggie's other hand gently clutch onto her sleeve and begin to pull upward. It nearly set her senses into overdrive; instinctively, Talia yanked her arm back, clutching it close to her chest almost protectively as she took a step backward. "Don't do that—!"
Time seemed to halt into a standstill as she realized her mistake — they're gonna know, her mind sobbed as she immediately regretted the intensity of her action, that was so obvious and and I wasn't careful enough with my stuff and now they're gonna know—
Talia heard the confused murmurs behind her, both Angel and Husk seeming to have been drawn into the conversation. Tears brimmed in the corners of her eyes, the edges of her vision blurred by her own volatile emotions.
"Talia?" Husk questioned from behind her, his tone conveying confusion. "What did you do...?"
Her teeth clenched, an overwhelming barrage of guilt and inner torment churning deep within her gut. "Talia," Vaggie tried again, voice impossibly gentle, "You don't have to hide it anymore... I know, okay? And I understand why you didn't want to tell any of us, but—"
"—Drop the subject, please," Talia nearly pleaded, claws wrapped tightly around her one arm. It felt as if her arm was burning, haunted by the memory of the pain previously inflicted. "Just don't..."
"Tals..." Angel tried, coming up from behind her and placing two hands on her shoulders. The action made her jump, swallowing down the lump in her throat as she listened to her friend speak. "Talia... can I see... please?"
Soft, so soft — tauntingly so; it made her feel vulnerable, in a way she had never had before. Her legs felt wobbly, the process of remaining standing seeming to be an issue in itself. All the doe could manage was a soft shake of her head, clutching her covered arms close to her chest in an almost childish attempt to hide them, shield them away from the rest of the world.
Her saliva felt as if it burned as it went down her throat, and Talia — always the fucking pushover, her mind snarled, relented. Her right hand hesitantly reached over to the striped sleeve covering her left arm, and she gently pulled it upward and cuffed it at her elbow; revealing the seemingly endless amount of scars littered across her skin. Weak fucking dipshit, she cursed silently, this is all your fault. Why couldn't you just control yourself?
"Oh, Tals..." Vaggie murmured, genuine sympathy seeming like nothing but a mockery to Talia's mind. "Why—"
"—I couldn't help it!" she shouted, the pain reaching a boiling point in one giant bout of overwhelming rage, "Do you have any idea how hard it was? I tried... I tried so hard. But the stupid fucking voices only ever shut up when I'm digging a knife into myself!" She was pacing at that point, nearly erratic with her movements and words as she stared at the floor. "So I had thought, maybe, just maybe, if I finally killed myself, everyone would be happy and everything would finally shut up!"
Forget the mere edges — Talia's entire line of vision was blurred and obscured by her own tears. She could just barely make out Vaggie's outline; it felt as if phantom hands had wrapped themselves around her throat, drifting downward and ripping a searing, burning hole through her chest. It burned, the effects of her own internal torment, and she didn't know how to make it stop.
A hand gripping her hair, the words began spilling out of Talia's throat faster than she could stop them. "And then I wake up in this miserable shithole, looking like some — some monster and not having the slightest idea of what's happening! For almost fifty years, all I've ever searched for, all I've ever wanted is fucking silence. They don't ever shut up... and I can't kill myself again, because who knows where the fuck I'd end up that time!?"
Talia took a shaky breath, feeling as if the world itself was spinning and caving in on itself. "How did the meeting go?" the doe forced herself to ask, voice lowered to a reasonable volume; too reasonable. She needed the subject of conversation to change, for the sake of her sanity. When Vaggie seemed about to protest, the doe cut her off before the other demon could so much as speak. "I answered your questions... now you answer mine." Please, her mind added silently, yet she felt far too conflicted to verbalize any sort of pleasantry at that point.
Vaggie sighed. "Fine..."
Talia, for the slightest second, felt relieved. But it was short-lived, for the sense of reprieve disappeared the instant Vaggie spoke again.
"But this isn't over."
{ ——— }
really really short chapter! woo! not really something to celebrate, though... :(
