Fall For Me (B×B)

Chapter 8

Jesse POV

I woke up next morning to my alarm. The sun was peaking through the window blinds, causing me to squint a little. I rubbed my face lazily. I didn't know how I fell asleep after those shameful acts I did and all the tears I shed. My head was another story. It's like a whole fucking drummer band playing through my skull.

I was afraid to look at the other side of my bed and see him still there. Yet there was no weight to pull me to his side of the bed. My heart raced. But to my luck, Dean was gone.

I breathed. My body relaxed. I looked around my room, feeling like a stranger. Someone who barely recognizes the face looking at himself through the mirror reflection. I shifted my eyes away from the wall mirror. My eyes landed on a sticky note on my desk. I got up from bed and picked it up. It was a note from Dean.

'Whatever had happened, I'm sorry. See you at school.'

I crumpled the note a little too harsh, pressing my nails to my palm and threw it away. I was mad. He played a dirty game and manipulated me. He got to my body.

And what was annoying me the most was that I let him. I gave him permission to kiss me.

"Fucking bastard!" I punched my dest and bend over it, feeling it burning deep down my skin. My eyes were burning with tears.

Why did I let him do that? And why the fuck did I enjoy it so much?

I flinched when I heard knocks on my door.

"Jesse, sweetheart? Are you up? You gonna be late for school." Mom yelled from outside.

'Whayever had happened, I'm sorry. See you at school.'

I got up and rushed to the door. I got through to talk to mom.

"Mom?"

She turned around, holding the laundry basket. "Yes?" She smiled under her tired eyes.

"I don't feel well. Can I skip on school today?" I just couldn't look her straight in the eyes. Shame was eating me alive.

She stared at me for a second. I never asked my parents to skip school, so she must be surprised. If I ever wanted to skip, I'd leave the house and just go hang out somewhere. Back then, it was just better doing that than facing them and starting an unnecessary conversation.

She approached and put her hand on my forehead. I winced a little to her touch. It felt awkward. When was the last time she touched me or gave me a hug?

I retreated as fast as I could. I definitely don't want her to touch me while I'm this filthy and disgusting.

"You seem a little... warm." She nodded. "It's okay. I'll call school. Get some rest while I'll cook you something." She smiled and patted my cheek. She nodded and went downstairs.

I closed the door and headed to the bathroom. A shower was needed at this point.

I stripped out of my filthy clothes, afraid to land an eye on the bathroom mirror. I didn't want to look at my voilated body. I didn't want my eyes to meet my reflection.

I stepped under the running water, feeling it washing the filth away. I closed my eyes and started recalling everything that happened last night. Every touch with each sensation. Every kiss Dean printed on my skin.

My body reacted to each and every kiss and touch I received from Dean's warm lips and fingers. I was a complete stranger to my own actions. And yet, I didn't recognize the new feelings I was exposed to. I couldn't understand what I felt. I never experienced any intimate physical touch with neither girls or boys before. So I was confused of the fact that I didn't know if I hardened because it was my very first sexual activity and as a horny teenager that's how my body should react, or it's just because it's Dean, and deep down I was flattered by his touch, excited by the intimacy.