Finding Ourselves

socials

Hours rolled by as Shehnaaz read a novel. Reading helped her get her mind through far off places and delve into the world created by author. Curiousity had taken over her to such an extent related to the story that she didn't seem to notice her surroundings. She declined the maids requests to have her food as she laid on the sofa placed at the corner of the living room. She laid on the bed over her stomach as the scene in the story climaxed and also sobbed as there was something emotional going on. She scribbled the page numbers in a plain sheet to go back to read it again whenever she wished too.

"Mam." She heard the maid call her again. I said I didn't want to eat anything! Why doesn't she leave me alone? Shehnaaz ranted in her mind.

"Please have your lunch. It's 5 pm. Sir has asked me to make sure you eat your meals."

"You don't have to be so formal. He won't know if I had lunch or not." She replied and got back to reading again.

"Mam, if gets to know-"

"He won't. See, I haven't even seen him since morning. It's not going to be an issue." The maid was still hesitant. Shehnaaz gave up as she noticed the maid wasn't going to get through this one. She gestured her to get her food making the maid elated. Every single person in the mansion feared Siddharth, she had noticed about it since the day she had stepped in here.

"Did he tell when he will be back?" Shehnaaz asked at which the maid replied in negative. "When did he leave?" She questioned again as she had herself woken up at 10 am.

"I did see him leave at 6 in the morning. He just left informing me to make sure you had all your meals. That's all I know." Shehnaaz nodded her head in a way of understanding. This man was complex. Too entangled to understand. There was some part of her which made her miss him. Though he was usually a jerk around her, he also stood by her whenever she wanted. All these years though she had been in a seemingly happy family, she never felt home. He felt as safe place which she longed for all these years. Her thoughts wandered over the last Saturday's actions, his touches over her skin felt like a burning spot over her body. The more she thought about it, the more did she wanted him to be around her. She moistened her lips as she played with her food.

"I have watched all your movies. I was hesitant to approach you as sir was always present." The maid said making Shehnaaz smile and continued to eat her food.

"You made it?" Shehnaaz asked in surprise as it tasted really good. All this while she hadn't taken her mind off a lot of things happening that made her miss the day to day life activities. The maid nodded her head. "Can you teach me, please?" To which the maid happily agreed. It was new but she wanted to utilize this time to learn new skills. After an half an hour, Shehnaaz went in the kitchen, probably for the first time ever in her life. The maid instructed her as she followed and helped. They giggled and spoke about their lives. It was fun, overall a new experience. Where being imperfect wasn't judged. She was clumsy that wasn't yelled at. The maid was sweet enough to be patient and help her out. Shehnaaz at the end hugged her thanking her for the day's lessons. They made it a point to learn a new recipe every day for at least an hour.

She quickly changed her clothes and washed her hair. For her the whole process of taking shower was relaxing, she hummed a song as she swayed to it. After shower she wore a cotton blue anarkali and managed to continue a story that she was working on. The lights dimmed as the day end and she had to switch on her lamp. She closed the windows and covered it with curtains. She walked downstairs hoping to see her newly met friend but she was nowhere to be seen. The other servants informed that she was assigned just the day shifts. She stroll around the huge mansion, the dark mansion with nearly no life like artifacts except for a portrait of Ritu Ma and Siddharth. She knew how much he loved her. The only person who could make or break him. He had a softness held in his eyes whenever he spoke to her. The softness which she had noticed sometimes when he spoke to her. Maybe that's what she believed.

She went near a huge shelf of books from where she had picked a book this morning. She read through the authors name and also took the book out which caught her interest. She had never seen him read or did he ever read? She didn't knew about it. She sat on the floor with a book in her hand as she read through a page, a few pages and continued reading getting lost into the world of stories again.

"Mam." A servant called her again. She checked her watch to realise it was 12 am. She muttered curses to herself on getting so into reading.

"Mr. Malhotra has come?" The servant nodded her head in a way of no.

"I will have dinner with him then."

"It might get late." He informed.

"It's fine. I will wait for him." Shehnaaz got up from the place and kept the book right back in the shelf as she walked towards the dinning table. She rested her head on the table as she stared at the gate waiting for the man she was waiting to come. She heard her stomach growl and eyes shut partially.

The night had started to get darker. It concerned her even more as he didn't arrive. Not that he was answerable to her but something made her worry about his absence. She knew that he might not even acknowledge her. She kept checking her watch as time passed by. A smile creeped in as she saw him walk in. "Hey, Malhotra!" She bit her tongue as it came out as a squeaky tone. Siddharth was taken aback by seeing her.

"What?" He asked coldly taking his coat off.

"Nothing. Just completed my work and came downstairs to have my dinner." Siddharth raised his brow as she wasn't looking at him. He knew she was lying. He didn't utter a word and stared at her.

"Okay. I know I am lying but it's too late and we must eat." She confessed.

"I did have my food." He said coldly. She went close to him and smiled. "Liar." She uttered making him look at her in surprise.

"Jhoot bolna nahi aata toh bolte kyu ho?" She mumbled as she pulled him to sit on a chair. They had their food while none of them spoke.

"Do you have an Instagram account?" Siddharth nodded his head in a way of yes. Shehnaaz was taken aback as she didn't expect him to have an account. She took her phone and searched for his name. On not finding him she gave her phone to him to type out his id.

"Seriously Sid." She uttered as she found 4M followers while he followed one. There were no pictures posted.

"Had to make an account for social presence. Business things." He said.

"Oh, I keep updating everything on my socials. Your's nearly dead. You don't even follow anybody except Rita Ma." Shehnaaz said as she was stalking his profile. She got a notification that made her look at him with her mouth wide open.

"Don't look at me like that. Accept it." He said wiping his mouth with a tissue. She still wasn't able to process things, she accepted his request. She stayed quiet and didn't speak anything.

"Thanks for waiting for me. Nobody's done that except my mom." Siddharth mumbled against his breath. Shehnaaz genuinely smiled hearing on his words.

"You aren't bad as you pretend to be." Siddharth stared at her for a moment. She simply smiled and continued eating her food. She gasped as he pulled her chair closer to him. He raised his arm to touch her hair strand and pushed it back against her ear. "You haven't seen the bad side of me, baby."

"Maybe that's true but I don't think I would ever be scared of you." She mumbled as she looked straight into his eyes. She noticed a glint of emotions in his eyes which soon hardened.

"Sid." She called his name as a whisper placing her palm over his cheek. Siddharth closed his eyes as he felt her warmth against his skin. "Don't be so hard on yourself." She mumbled to which he hummed in response.

Did you like the update?

Any suggestions?

What do you wish to see in upcoming chapters?
1. Sidnaaz fight/misunderstanding
2. A new entry