The Thoughts Behind it All

Love? In Theory, No.

       I don't want to love anyone. I want to hope for a life of pure bliss and happiness without the burden of heartbreak, in the sense of love gone wrong, or the lack of love. I want to be perfectly happy with no responsibility of protecting my heart from a relationship, or having to protect someone else's heart from myself.

But I yearn to be held, to be cared for in the sense of being loved. I yearn to care and cherish someone in the sense of loving them. I want to hold hands, and go to fun places. I want to share meals, and have late night conversations. I want to laugh, and smile. I want to make someone laugh and smile. I want to have someone who I hold close to my heart, and I want to be held just as closely to someone else's.

I want to be in love, without having to find someone to love. I want to love someone and be loved by someone, but I don't want to love. I don't want to put myself in the position to be hurt by love, or to hurt someone with love. I don't want fake love, or hurtful love.

I just want love, without the love.

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07/12/2024

I recommend listening to "Still Beating" by Mac Demarco while reading this, even if it's longer than the actual writing, lol