The Thoughts Behind it All

The Library

Everyone has a happy place that they think of when they're anxious. For some people, it's their room, or the beach, or maybe a cafe. For me, it's a library I made up when I was around 6.

The library was grand, never ending. The ceilings were as tall as the sky, each shelf bursting with books, whether I had written them or I had read them was almost impossible to tell. I would imagine myself floating across the dark oak floors on a rolling ladder, similar to the one from beauty and the beast. There were several rooms you could go to, one filled with classical music, this was the main room, the one I mentioned previously with the ladder and the dark oak floors. That room had shelves that resembled something of a medieval trophy shelf, glass encasing the books to protect them from dust and any harm that could possibly come. The second room was a much smaller one, resembling a bedroom with smaller shelves scattering the walls. This room was where I would pretend to read all of my favorites. It always had rain falling from outside the imaginary windows, my favorite music playing in the background. The last room was the woods. It was a grand forest, sunlight filtering in through the leaves. There was a running river that would lead to the beach if you followed it long enough. From the branches of the trees, memory orbs hung down like ripe fruit ready to be picked, a bright purple for the happy ones, a dark red for the angry ones, and a light blue for the sad.

The library was where I would go when things got bad at home, when the stress and anxiety I had been feeling and hiding away was finally getting to me, and where I would think of going when I felt there was nowhere else I could ever possibly fit in.

Even today, I still go to the library to hide. The library is the one constant I can count on to always be there when nothing else is. The library is my shelter from all the dark and anxiety inducing thoughts and actions of the outside world.

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6/2/2024