Retribution

Chapter 32 - Take Me Higher

Facing my own dilemma of whether to let Adam have Harvey this evening, I left Marco to bring Jake up to speed on today's antics. The shock that surged across his handsome face punched a hole of guilt inside me. Now I had the marvellous gift of hindsight, I was feeling more than foolish at my earlier actions. The thought as to what could have happened sent violent chills down my spine.

Jake didn't say a word about any of it, not even when Marco drove me to the top of the road to meet a sheepish Adam for Harvey. I'd decided to keep plans as they were. Refusing him access to Harvey would have only upset Adam further. Plus, taking the gun out of the equation, it was just another argument we'd had. I couldn't deny him seeing his son because we'd had a row.

After I'd tucked Harvey into bed, we indulged in a pizza whilst giggling away at a slapstick comedy. Still, Jake said nothing. I figured he wasn't going to mention it at all.

By ten p.m., I was shattered. I wanted my bed to just relax and chill. The reality of today was settling with a soul-sucking heaviness. I'd taken a huge fifty-fifty gamble, and despite the fact it'd paid off, whispers of 'what ifs' kept creeping through my thoughts like jungle vines, grabbing a hold and refusing to let go. I could have made Harvey motherless. I could have forced him to end up living with his father, or even worse, Adam's uncle. He would have turned into a carbon copy of Adam and it would have been all my fault.

Brushing the harsh truth away, I said my goodnights and headed to my room. So exhausted, all I managed to do was flop down on my bed and shut my eyes. Whilst my darkened eyelids were a welcome relief, everything around me seemed to spin in a thousand different directions. I didn't have the energy to fight it, despite it being so disorientating.

The creaking landing floorboards told me of Jake's impending arrival. The shuffle of his feet on the thick carpet rustled through my ears, then the click of the door being closed.

"What if he'd pulled that trigger today, Louisa?"

The raspy husk to his normal silky voice made me force my eyes open. I propped myself up on my elbows and dared to look at him. He stood at the edge of the bed, his arms folded across his chest, and his usual sparkly sapphires burning with a gloomy haze.

I knew the stupidity of what I'd done. I was fighting the urge to not mentally beat myself up as it was. Not knowing what to say, I looked away, ashamed of myself.

"Do you have any idea how mad I am?" he said. "Could you even imagine what would be happening right now if that moment of brave idiocy had backfired?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and sighed. "Don't, Jake." I flopped back onto the bed. "I'm struggling with it enough myself. I get it, ok?"

He let out a big sigh. The bed dipped as he sat down next to me. I opened my eyes just as he reached for my hands and pulled me into a sitting position. In the blink of an eye, his arms were around me, hugging me to his chest. He nuzzled into my hair and inhaled deeply. When he breathed out, the warmth of his breath chased shivers across my neck.

"I don't know what's worse," he said, all but mumbling. "Your immense courage or your outright stupidity. I don't think I've been this mad since Lewis tried cleaning my car with gravel."

I giggled and snuggled further inside his embrace. It was then that it hit me how lucky I was. Not only did I have my life, my son, and my house, but I had the affection of a perfect Prince Charming. And to top it off, all I needed to soothe any negativity was to have his arms around me.

"But, for some reason I can't seem to explain, I can't stay mad at you. I'm just grateful you're here. Just promise me one thing?"

"Hmmm?"