Retribution

Chapter 6 - When The Past Comes A' Knockin'

I woke the next morning with a pounding headache, but thankfully, no broken nose to go with it. Dr Strawson had warned me that actively reliving certain instances, especially the more traumatic ones, would result in dreams or nightmares—she made a point of telling me that what I classed them as was purely a matter of perception.

Running my fingers over my nose, I found the slight bump on the bridge of my nose that was my first scar of Adam. I shook my head, hindsight again making me wish I'd left him then.

But, at the time, it was justifiable—or so I had told myself.

We were both drunk and still reeling from the reality of becoming parents. He just got a little overprotective at a guy paying me a compliment, that's all. He'd spent the entirety of the next day begging for forgiveness, tears and all, pleading with me that he didn't know what came over him. He barely remembered doing it.

With pregnancy hormones still raging, a strong foundation of a relationship behind us, and the addition of bouncing baby Harvey, a man could be forgiven for one mistake. Like he said, it wasn't like he'd betrayed me and slept with someone else.

Now I was out the other side, the ridiculousness of my logic still boiled my blood, but when you're in the middle of it, everything clouded by emotion and reality, it all makes sense. As Dr Strawson keeps reminding me, everything is about perception. It has the ability to turn a living nightmare into a lifelong dream or vice versa.

The clinking of bowls downstairs brought me back to the present moment. Mum and Harvey were obviously up. I grabbed my phone from my bedside cabinet and dared to look at it. I had messages from Adam most days, some nice and trying to win me back, others nasty and reminding me what a dreadful human being I was.

After last night, I dreaded to think of the barrage of abuse he would have sent me.

00:12 - You still haven't answered me?

00:27 - Don't make me come round there!

00:43 - Do NOT ignore me, Louisa. Don't make me do something I'll regret.

01:03 - I don't understand why you do this to us. I've never loved anyone like I love you. No one will ever love you like I do. You know we belong together xxxx

01:29 - DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU......BITCH

I swallowed the dry lump lodged in my throat. His typical merry-go-round of confusion still unnerved me. Threats turned to niceties which then evolved into unbridled rage. Throwing my dressing gown on, I padded downstairs, phone in hand.

Mum glanced up at me, smiling. "Morning. Good night?"

I nodded. "Until I woke up to these." I handed her my phone and gave Harvey a hug. Noticing his giant bowl of Cheerios, I ruffled his hair. "You got enough there?"

His response was to continue shovelling them into his mouth as if someone was about to take them off him. I couldn't help but smile.

Mum passed my phone back and gave me a sympathetic look. "I'm here for you, Lou, you know that, but you need to help yourself when it comes to him. It's no use other people stepping in for you—it's you that needs to stand up to him to make him realise enough is enough."

I sighed and nodded. "But it's been five months already. When will he get the message?"

"Sweetie, he had ten years with you, controlling you and Lord knows what else. Five months is a drop in the ocean to him. He's still in contact, which for him, is more than enough to get you back."