Hatred || Namjin

47

Namjoon sprawled on the grass, panting heavily as he tried to catch his breath. "Fuck, hyung...I'm tired," he groaned, his hands resting on his knees before he finally gave in and lay flat on his back. The cool blades of grass prickled his skin through his shirt, but he was too exhausted to care. The morning run had taken more out of him than he had anticipated, and now every muscle in his body ached.

Jin, standing over him with a mix of amusement and exasperation, shook his head. "Joon! You'll get dirty! There is a bench right next to you! Aish!" he exclaimed, his voice carrying a tone that was both scolding and affectionate. His eyes sparkled with a soft light as he looked down at Namjoon, finding the sight endearing despite his words.

"But I'm so tireeedd," Namjoon whined, looking up at Jin with pleading eyes that made him look much younger than he was. He reached out with his arms like a child asking to be picked up. "Carry me, hyung."

Jin sighed deeply, though a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "You big baby," he muttered under his breath, but he couldn't help the fondness that crept into his voice. Bending down, he wrapped his arms around Namjoon and lifted him with a surprising ease, carrying him bridal style to the nearby bench. Namjoon giggled, a soft, breathy sound, as he buried his face in Jin's neck, savoring the warmth and closeness.

Once they reached the bench, Jin gently set Namjoon down and took a seat beside him. They sat in comfortable silence, the tranquility of the park enveloping them. The morning sun filtered through the trees, casting dappled shadows on the ground. Birds chirped in the distance, their melodies mingling with the soft rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze. Namjoon closed his eyes, feeling the peace of the moment seep into his bones.

Namjoon broke the silence, his voice soft and hesitant. "Hyung, I have to get back home soon..." He opened his eyes to look at Jin, a hint of reluctance in his gaze.

Jin's heart sank at Namjoon's words. He had momentarily forgotten that Namjoon had his own home, his own life outside of this bubble they had created together. "O-Oh, yeah... Um, when are you coming home?" he asked, trying to keep his voice steady despite the sudden wave of sadness that washed over him.

"I was thinking this weekend," Namjoon replied. "Hobi already knows, and I have already started packing most of my things."

Jin gulped, trying to process this new reality. The idea of Namjoon leaving so soon felt like a punch to the gut. "Hyung..?"

"It's too soon, no?" Jin forced a laugh, a shaky sound that did little to hide his distress. "I just got you and—I'm sorry, I shouldn't—I shouldn't be stopping you from going home. I completely understand. I'm just gonna miss you...so much." His voice cracked, betraying the depth of his emotions.

Namjoon chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "You're acting like I am moving across the country, hyung. My house is just a few cities away, I'm sure we'll see each other often."

"Y-Yeah, but you'll be going to university soon once summer's over, and the chances of us seeing each other will be less and less—that, I can't handle," Jin admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. The thought of their time together becoming so limited was almost unbearable.

"Oh, Jin hyung, I'm sure that won't affect what we already have—whatever this is," Namjoon said, reaching out to take Jin's hand in his. His touch was warm and reassuring, a silent promise that they would find a way to make it work.

"Oh yeah, we never really got to put a label on it, did we?" Jin laughed shortly, a bit of the tension easing from his shoulders. The ambiguity of their relationship had always been a comfort, allowing them to navigate their feelings without pressure.

"We don't have to if you're not ready yet. I'm okay with what we have already, hyung," Namjoon reassured him, squeezing his hand gently. There was a deep sincerity in his voice, a willingness to be patient and understanding.

"I don't wanna be unfair to you, Joon-ah. It feels like I'm being selfish if we decide based on what I want," Jin said, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The fear of holding Namjoon back, of being a burden, weighed heavily on him.

"No, hyung, you're not being selfish. Just think of me as being thoughtful, hm? I don't ever want to pressure you on these kinds of things considering everything you went through. You deserve gentle and patient love, hyung, and I am willing to give it to you," Namjoon said softly, his voice full of sincerity and warmth. He wanted Jin to know that his feelings and comfort were always a priority.

Jin couldn't hold back his tears any longer. They slipped down his cheeks, and Namjoon pulled him into a comforting hug, his arms wrapping around Jin in a protective embrace. "I-I don't deserve you, Namjoon," Jin whispered, his voice choked with emotion.

"I don't deserve you either but here we are," Namjoon replied, laughing lightly, his arms tight around Jin. The shared laughter broke the tension, a reminder of the bond they had built.

Jin pulled back slightly, looking into Namjoon's eyes. "Do you really have to go? You can stay here for a couple more weeks or maybe until summer is over," he pleaded, almost desperately. The thought of losing Namjoon's presence in his daily life was too much to bear.

"Didn't take you to be clingy, hyung," Namjoon teased, a playful smile on his lips. "But yeah, I really have to go home. My mom's gonna kill me if I don't pay her a visit." He tried to keep the mood light, even though he felt the weight of their impending separation.

"Can I at least drop you off?" Jin asked, his voice soft and hopeful, his eyes searching Namjoon's for reassurance.

"Of course you can, hyung," Namjoon replied, chuckling at Jin's insistence. He appreciated the depth of Jin's feelings, the way he wanted to hold on to every moment they had left.

Jin leaned in and kissed Namjoon quickly, their lips brushing in a tender moment of affection. The kiss was brief but full of meaning, a silent promise of their bond. They pulled back and smiled at each other, their hearts feeling lighter despite the impending separation. For now, they had this moment, and it was enough.