Gravity Falls: BlueRoses (S1)

The Hand that Cradles The Fire

I wrote like half of this after getting told she wanted to break up so if it gets like crazy lemme know

This was also done in the Apple pages app so call out words spelt wrong if you see them

Tw: panic attacks + references to past trauma 

Aaron stood in front of the shack, a ridiculous grin on his face, as he presented his latest scheme. "For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible sack of mystery. When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!" He held out the bag, as the several gullible people shoveled money in.

Meanwhile, the Pines siblings and Soos (and Dipper, who was chilling inside Bill's front pocket) were binging Gravity Falls Cable. "the tiger was badly injured in the explosion, but we repaired him... with a fist!" Everyone cheered, someone shouting "that tiger is a hero!" While the tiger on TV punched itself. While the t started pushing commercials again, (much to the annoyance of Will, who had no patience) one particular came on that caught everyone's attention. "It's that commercial I was talking to you about!" Soos exclaimed, as bats flew on the tv. "Are you miserable?" It asked, as a scene kid popped up. "Yes.." he deadpanned, as the announcer continued. "You are not alone." "Is this another add for depression meds? Those seem to be following me." Bill remarked, unable to wait for it to finish. "You need to meet... Jeremy~" the announcer continued, as Will groaned. "Ugh. What's so special about this guy?" "He's a psychic!" Will rolled his eyes, while Bill perked up. 'A psychic? Maybe he can figure out what's gonna happen to me!' Dipper, who remained in Bill's pocket, was very insulted about the notion that he himself was not enough.

"Don't waste your time with other so-called men of mystery!" The add continued, while Will groaned loudly. "Learn about tomorrow tonight at Jeremy's Tent of Telepathy!"

Bill stood up, and turned to face his brother and Soos. "Well. My interests have been peaked, and I personally want to go see this guy." Will rolled his eyes for the seventh time in two minutes, and crossed his arms. "Bill, you don't need to see this guy. There's no way he's an actual psychic." "Damn right he's not. Ever since that little shit rolled into town, it's been nothing but issue after issue! Parking, customers, literal slander on my name.. name it, he's done it." Aaron complained, while Bill just started formulating escape plans later. "And you, Mr. Escape Artist, you are forbidden to go patronize the competition. No one that lives under my roof is allowed under his roof!"

Bill smiled, before clearing his throat. "Aaron. You've contradicted yourself. Tent's don't have roofs. Therefore, that is invalid."

Aaron stared at Bill for forty long uncomfortable seconds, before sighing. "God you really inherited your mother's "ErM aCtUaLlY". Fine. Fine! Go see this kid." He said, before walking off to probably grab a soda.

Will looked at his brother, who was busy walking away and formulating more plans. "Man. Mom hates when he does that." "Does what?" Soos asked. "The loopholes thing. He analyses what people say very carefully so if he can get out of something he doesn't want to do or something he wants to, he takes it. It makes Mom so angry."

Dipper continued to pout in Bill's pocket.

He was not happy.

Going into the tent, a woman with a "baseball team yay!" Shirt and purple hair greeted them. "Step right up, put your money into Jeremy's psychic sack!" And once again, gullible idiots shoveled their money in.

"This is like a blizzard version of The Mystery Shack. They even have a Soos." Bill said, pointing at a handy man named "deuce". Soos glared at him,

Epic rock music started playing, and the shadow bend the curtain grew larger. When it finally opened to reveal a scrawny kid in beat up converse and a bunch of face paint, Bill just barely held himself back from laughing.