My class one shots 💀

Silly socks and crazy crocs (Jordan x levi)

Bxb

Tw: cheating, self harm, suicidal thoughts, eating dissorder

_________________

Levi did it again, only jordan knew how to keep him together.

Levi POV:
I stand infront of the mirror, hating what looks back at me. Its been two weeks since the breakup. I know i messed up. Im awful, so i did it again. Jordan would hate me if he found out, even more than he does. I didnt want to cheat, i just couldnt have the school finding out.

My arms hurt, i need a hoodie before i go to school. Maybe i shouldnt go at all.

~~

Logan: "hey man, you alright"

Levi: "i dont know man... i just dont feel very skibbidi" i joke not wanting anyone to catch on. Logan knew i was gay, he didnt know i was with jordan. No body knew.

I sit with my head against the window. It hurts as it rattles against the pane, but i deserve the pain. I broke his heart after all.

~~

I walk in the doors at school and think about going to get breakfast.

No, i dont deserve it.

I head to the stage and sit down. Rawson sleeping as per usual. I sit down next to him hoping to do the same. Maybe the pain will go away... but then again, it never does. Not as long as i know i broke his heart. I pull my hood over my eyes anyway and try.

I didnt sleep last night, so i pass out pretty easily, i was too busy relapsing.

Rawson nudges my arm signaling the bell rang and its time to head to class. I grab my bag and head through the doors and down the hall. I know im going to see jordan in the next class, i know that he'll ignore my existence. Something about that hurts more than anything else. I wish i could say i know his pain but i dont. I try to anyway. Every night i try to feel his pain, knowing its not enough. It will NEVER be enough. Not until i... finish the job

~~

At lunch we sit at the same table. I dont talk, partly not feeling like talking, partly not wanting to annoy jordan. Thats when azzy walks up.... Shes the one i cheated on jordan with. She was the one who forced me to kiss her.

I didnt want to, even after i pushed her away jordan had already saw. He didnt say anything in the moment. Hes been out for a while but knows im not. I could see his heart break from where i stood. I wish i couldve stoped it from ever happening. I wish i wouldve told the world i was gay so this never happened. But i didnt, and thats on me.

Jordan POV:
That bitch walks up. I hate her guts. I cant blame her though, she didnt know. It was that whore who cheated on me. Even if he wasnt out he shouldnt have done that. I dont know if he meant it, i dont think i care. I just want to go home.

~a few days later~

I walk into school already pissed. Theres no point in going anymore. The only point that there ever was ended up cheating on me.

I get to the table with prestyn and sit down. I took note of his crazy socks and crocs. Me, him, and levi used to match those.

After a bit the bus arrives. It was a little late today and i see levi walk in. Hes also wearing matching crazy socks and crocs. So i guess theyre matching without me. Prestyn had texted me last night and asked to do it but i said no, so i guess i cant be that mad. I do feel a little jealous though, not at them matching without me, but at levi matching without me.

It shouldnt hurt, but oddly it does.

"Hey man, could i talk to you later... in private" i ask nervously. He knows im bi but he doesn't know me and levi dated. No body even knows levis gay. Not even one of our friends. I shouldnt tell him, but i need to talk to someone about everything and i know i can trust him the most. Especially after he's trusted me with his crush.