The feeling of knowing deep down what the answer is but not being able to remember what it is and being so stressed out everytime you look back up at the clock, or when someone stands up to turn in their test.
That's how I feel.
I stare blankly at the test, everything blending together and blurring into random words that I don't even understand what I'm looking at.
If I fail this I'm screwed. If I don't finish this I'm screwed. If I don't get above a certain percentage I'm screwed.
I glance up to spot Sal going up to the front to turn in his test, and it makes my blood boil. Of course. I know that he doesn't have to worry about what happens with his test. Either way, it doesn't matter because he's smart. Smarter than me.
I stare back down at my test, my hand gripping my hair at the scalp as I try to figure out what I'm staring at.
"Five minutes left!" The teacher reminds us. I hate when they do that shit.
I glance around at everyone else. Most of them were already done with their tests, but some were still working on their's. But I could tell they were almost done.
Stress and fear floods through my body as I stare at the paper once more. I studied for this. Why can't I remember anything?
I've tried to skip and come back to questions, but then I end up just skipping them all, and coming back to them all.
Why can't I be smart? Why can't I just take a test and not worry about him finding out what I scored? Why do I have to be so fucking stupid?
The annoying tic-tock of the clock fills my ears, my heart pounding as I know that class is almost over.
Someone else stands to hand in their test.
I start guessing.
~~~
I won't see my test results until tomorrow, but anxiety still settles in my body the rest of the day.
I shouldn't of guessed. Why did I do that? Why am I so fucking stupid?
I close my eyes for a moment, a sigh leaving my lips before I open my eyes again.
"What's got you all upset?" Phillip asks as he plants his feet into the wood chips as he lifts his hand to his mouth to take a drag from his joint.
"I think I did bad on the test today." I reply, kicking the wood chips under my feet.
"Ah. Why?" Phillip was about to offer me the joint before remembering that I'm heavily christian.
"Because I guessed on the last half of it." I run a hand over my face, and I could see Phillip cringe.
Even he can't try and make me feel better, because we both know I definitely fucked up.
But it was either I guess, or not finish the test. So, either way, I'm gonna get beat.
"I'm sorry, T." Phillip breaks the silence, his eyes on me. "If I could help you, you know I would in a heartbeat, man."
I silently nod, my hands gripping the chains of the swing. "Yeah. I know, Phillip."
One time when we were younger, just a bit after my mother died, Phillip managed to convince his parents that I was being abused and mistreated by my father.
CPS got called, and of course, they didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Because of the fact my mother had just recently passed, my father kind of shut down for a while, which meant he left me alone. And that was when CPS stopped by.
But the moment they left...
That day still gives me nightmares.
Phillip and I continue to sit there in silence for a bit before I slowly move off of the swing.
"Leaving already?" Phillip raises a brow as I start to walk away.
"Yeah, you know he'll be pissed if I don't get home soon." I reply as I wave goodbye to Phillip before I silently make my way back towards the house.
Sometimes if I'm lucky, he's passed out drunk by the time I get back home. Which is why Phillip and I sometimes go to the park for a couple hours to make the chance more likely.
But then there's always the chance that he's drunk, awake, and angry because I didn't come home right after school.
I slowly and quietly open the front door just a crack, and the smell of beer instantly fills my nose. A moment later I hear a snore, and it makes my whole body relax as I open the door.
He was passed on the couch, an empty beer bottle on the floor and his belt in his hand.
He was trying to wait for me to get home.
The sight makes my anxiety rise once more, and I quickly kick off my shoes before silently fleeing up the stairs and into my bedroom.
YOU ARE READING
Meet You at the Graveyard.
Romance(If you couldn't guess, Title is based off the song, "Meet you at the Graveyard" by Cleffy) This story is more based on Travis and his life and what he goes through, and doesn't focus much on Sal even though it's both of their povs. SAL I never unde...
