Litchfield: My story

1. My First Day

Litchfield. My new home, for now.

I walked in, almost shaking from all my nerves. As I took a deep breath, the officer told me to strip. I looked at her, shocked beyond belief. I had never strip for a woman before and she wanted me to squat and cough?! What have my life come to... 
Once she 'checked' me I was taken into a van. The driver welcomed me and told me that her name was Morello. She seemed like such a lovely person, I wondered why she was in here and why she was allowed to drive. Was that safe? Anyway, we waited a couple minutes for two other new inmates and then she took us to the main building. She showed us around and gave me a toothbrush, toothpaste and a packet of tissues. I think she could tell I was on the edge of breaking down. I was so nervous and everyone was staring at me in the corridors, which was really uncomfortable.

I was put in a room with three other inmates, but there was one girl who caught my eye. When I first walked in she was lying down on the top bunk, facing the wall. I wondered if she was ok. I sat in the bunk opposite, on the bottom.
It was so overwhelming being in here, my heart staring racing.  I couldn't breathe and started to panic, especially because it just hit me. I'm in prison. This is my home for the next two years... God help me.
One of the inmates was just staring at me as I panicked and another kept telling me to just breathe. I took a few deep breathes which helped, and then the girl on the top bunk opposite me slowly turned around and my god was she attractive. She had dark hair, pale skin and wore black secretary-type glasses. I looked at her whilst she looked at me. She sat up and we looked at each other for about 10 very slow seconds and then I had to awkwardly look away because my heart started to race again. I felt like I had been running, which was funny because for the past ten minutes I've just been sitting on my bed panicking. She finally spoke and said "Hey you, what's your name?" I looked up and she smiled. I wanted to talk, but nothing was coming out my mouth. I tried saying my name, but nothing. After what seemed like forever I finally stuttered "Jade". The woman on the bottom bunk then swiftly said "What's your surname? Here we call everyone by their surname"
"Oh.. erm.. Versini." I quietly said "my surname is Versini."
The hot one replied "it's nice to meet you Versini" with such a beautiful smile on her face. "My name is Alex Vause and below is Darth Vader" she chuckled.
"Don't listen to her, she's joking".
I smiled and laughed a little. Apparently that woman, whose real name was Anita Demarco, is nick-named Darth Vader because she has a breathing machine to help her breathe at night. I thought I could do with that machine right now.

After a while an alarm went off. I was confused, so I looked to Alex and she told me to get up and stand beside my bed for a count. So as we stood by our beds and watch a few guards come by and click something, I looked around the room. I slowly moved my eyes towards Alex. She was already looking at me, so I quickly looked elsewhere.

Once count was over it was dinner. It was only 4.30. I wasn't even hungry. All my room-mates left and I thought I'd better follow them otherwise, knowing me, I'd get lost. Alex was a few feet in front of me, so I decided to follow her and I tried my best to be invisible. But that was hard, considering the fact that everyone was staring and pointing at me. I'm guessing it was because I was like the only one in orange and that colour definitely does not suit me. It was horrible.

I finally get to the canteen and lined up. It was like school again. In front of me were two women. One had messy hair and the other was a tall blonde woman. The one with the hair was telling the other one how she fucked some woman in the shower. I was literally like woah, that actually happens in prison. I was so tempted to try to talk to them and make friends, but I was too shy. My shyness always gets in the way...

Anyway, I got what was apparently food, but it looked and smelt literally like dog shit. I felt like throwing up. It was gross. As I turned around, everyone was already sitting in groups. I had no idea where to sit. So I walked and walked and finally found an empty seat. But it was at the end of the table where Alex was sitting. I stood there and looked around to try and find somewhere else because I didn't want her to see me eating alone - she'd probably think that there is something wrong with me. But as my eyes wondered around the room, I didn't see anywhere else that looked like a decent space to eat, so I just sat. I stared at the 'food' trying so hard to convince myself to eat it.

"Versini"

I heard my name. It was a familiar voice. My mind was running with so many thoughts. Should I look up? Or shall I ignore it? But would that then make me look rude?

"Oi, Versini" another voice said, she also sounded familiar. I think that may have been one of the women from the queue.

I looked up and looked to my left without moving my head. It was Alex and her group. I turned my head slowly and looked at them all whilst slowing trying to smile. Alex placed her glasses on her head and mouthed 'come here' whilst moving her finger from me to her. I sat there for a few seconds, taking in what was happening. Alex is telling me to sit with her. Oh God. After a second or two, I stood up, picked up my tray and slowly moved down the table and sat opposite Alex. She introduced me to everyone on the table. To my right was Nicky Nichols, the one from the queue, and next to Nicky was Morello, who I'd already met in the van, and next to Alex was the blonde lady from the queue, apparently called Piper Chapman. I quietly said hi to them all and then Alex introduced me to the girls, "everyone, this is Jade Versini". They all smiled, said hi and then continued with their conversation.

I returned looking at the food on my plate and then looked at the food on everyone else's plate. It was nasty. "You will get used to it" Alex whispered. I looked up at her and asked "when?" She giggled a bit, which made me smile. I took a deep breathe and ate as much as I could. It was gross. 

*****

It was around 9ish so I decided to lay in my bed until I felt tired enough to sleep.  It hit me again, I'm actually going to be stuck in this hell for a while. Tears started to roll down my face so I turned to face the wall to ensure that no one would see me upset. 

I heard footsteps behind me. Someone sat on my bed. I wiped my eyes and slowly turned my torso. It was Alex. She rub my arm and asked "how you holding up?". I knew I couldn't say a word because I would have started to cry again, so I shrugged, whilst trying to smile. "You're gonna be alright, don't worry, you'll get used to this place soon. If you ever want to talk, I'm not far...literally." She looked at her bunk and we both chuckled. She stood up to go back to her bed and I quickly said "Alex". She turned around and I whispered "Thanks". She nodded and smiled before climbing on to her bunk. I turned back around to the wall and somehow felt that everything was going to be ok. Well, for now at least.