I love you, Alara.
My love for you knows no bounds-I would sacrifice everything for you!!
To...
Fuck you, Alara.
You think I killed your brother? You think I could ever hurt someone you loved?
You hate me now, and maybe that's worse than death.
But...
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I tried everything to sleep, but I couldn't.
The same thoughts kept cycling through my mind. What could he be thinking?
Even though we are exes, it's not as if our love ended.
Deep down, I still wish it wasn't him who murdered Bhai. I couldn't keep up with the same thoughts anymore.
I am tired.
I need home.
Finally, at 4 AM, I gave up on trying to sleep and got up from bed.
Reya was still sound asleep, so I moved quietly to avoid disturbing her.
I made my way to the kitchen and decided to brew myself a nice cup of tea.
I'm not typically a huge tea fan, and I generally only drink it when I've caught a viral infection or a cold, but today, I desperately needed some peace of mind.
It felt like the only sources of comfort I could rely on were either him or this soothing cup of tea.
So, I went with the option that seemed more favorable.
As I sipped the tea, memories of Maa flooded back to me.
Whenever I used to get a cold or cough, she would make the most delicious chai. I drank the tea, letting the warmth and nostalgia soothe my troubled mind.
Sukoon...
Raahat...
Itminan...
Qarar...
Everything I used to feel with him, I was feeling now—not because of the tea, but because of his memories, the only thing I have left of him.
It's been 20 minutes since I sat down on my couch with my eyes closed, yet all I can think about is him.
His face is vividly before me, occupying my mind entirely.
His smile, etched in my mind, fills the space behind my eyelids, bringing back a flood of emotions and memories we once shared together.
I glanced at the clock. It was 4:50 AM.
I have an important meeting with a new client at 9 AM sharp today. I doubt I can sleep now; I'll probably end up with a terrible migraine if I do.
I wore my exercise leggings and a loose t-shirt, laid out my yoga mat on the balcony, and sat down. I attempted to do some yoga for a while, but my body felt numb, devoid of energy or motivation.
"You can do this, Alara," I told myself.
I switched my so-called boring playlist, as Ruru would say, to some upbeat music, including Taylor Swift songs.
I tried to distract my mind with cardio, knowing that this was the best way to move forward after him.
