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13: sposarlo

He is going to regret it, but I will enjoy it. With a smile, I rested my face on the crook of his neck. He caressed the back of my head, comforting me. I hadn't felt this kind of comfort in years, though I didn't expect to get it from a boy like him. It feels good. I wish I could keep him with me, but I may not. I am not like him. I can't feel much. Or maybe I feel something that I can't pinpoint. Ugh, ridiculous. I am going to be so useless once I am done with revenge.

No, Bella. No negative self-talk.

"You are thinking stupid things again," Eli said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I lean back and stare at his gorgeous eyes.

What do you do when you love something? Keep it in a jar? I should put his eyes in my jar.

What the hell I just thought? Oh, crazy Bella.

"Since you are ready to give me anything, I want you to help me go to their base so I can destroy it," I said with a smile. Eli instantly shook his head.

"Anything but that," he protested. I can see him regretting. Bingo.

"You said you would give anything I asked for," I pointed out.

"Anything that doesn't put your life in danger, besides, I promised you I would get rid of them," Eli shot me a glare.

"I won't get peace until I do it with my own hands," I said firmly. That psycho in me is still alive.

"No. You will sit here like a good little girl and let me handle it, "

"Why do you care so much about my life? It won't matter much if I die. "

"Say it again, and you will regret it."

At this point, I felt sad. I understand that he cares about me, but the way he puts it hurts. Suddenly, I wanted to hit my head, realizing I was trying to make him understand. I had already given up on anyone understanding my situation. Why suddenly did I try? I am going crazy. Nothing new.

" l'ospedale psichiatrico suona bene. (A mental hospital sounds good ) " I muttered under my breath.

But then I wouldn't get to see Eli or any other people I care about. But it will cause them less trouble. Nah, never mind. I am completely fine and mentally stable. Yeah, I had decided to do mass murder but that's for the well-being of people and the law.

Look who is talking. My inner voice said.

Looks like it's finally back. Darn it. You were better off dead.

And lost my chance to see you suffer, no. My inner voice said.

Eli pressed his palm on my cheek gently, causing me to snap out of my thoughts. I should keep him near me, he grounds me to present easily. His eyes softened, but then he looked at me seriously again.

"I know you want revenge, but when you are hurt, it's a suicidal mission. And don't tell me you want to die," he explained. I didn't say anything. His eyes narrowed.

Oops!

He is not wrong. I shouldn't think like the crazy teenager that I was back then. If I am healthy, then I can work on a revenge plan. I sighed.

"You are right. I was just angry," I admitted. I was angry that he thought such things about me, but again, he wasn't wrong at all. Real mature Bella, how can you lose it after this much time?

Eli calmed down too. Eli pressed me on his chest, hugging me. I relaxed and closed my eyes.

"You must be hurt a lot, and they will pay for it, but not at the cost of your life," Eli said with a promising tone.