Undivided Attention [Ishman]

Chapter 10

"This is great."

"I feel better too." Aditi spoke.

It was classic Ishan and Aditi again, sitting on a car hood in a Mc Donald's parking lot at night. It was their little escape.

They still had that post breakup awkwardness between them. They made small talk trying to seem relevant but they could both tell this wasn't it. But they liked it. They still liked each other's company. Regardless of it being platonic now they still liked spending time with each other.

After a while of silence and staring at the sky filled with stars, one of them spoke..

"I have ruined this for us haven't I?"

"You don't ruin anything, stop saying that infact I feel like I should be the one saying that don't you think?" Aditi responded.

"No, it was the right decision... You made the right choice I wasn't so present"

Aditi suddenly turned towards Ishan and stared at him with a confused smile on her face.

"Is there something on my face?" Asked Ishan.

"No.. Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"Blame everything on yourself. Aren't you too harsh sometimes?"

Ishan wanted to defend himself but no words came out of his mouth. This sentence felt a little too personal to him. He was speechless.

"Ishan you always do your best you can relax now."

"..."

"It not always your fault y'know?"

He had been bottling things up now and he needed to hear this.

"Woah okay." He said with a cracked voice.

He didn't know what else to say. He wasn't used to being comforted like this.

"Okay." Aditi smiled again reassuringly as she knew she got her message across. That's exactly what he needed to hear.

Ishan felt heard maybe he wasn't as lonely as he thought.

"I want you to come with me on that trip tomorrow" said Ishan suddenly.

Aditi looked at him surprised.

"What trip? To where? And who's coming? What are you talking about?"

"The trip to Thailand. One where everyone is going and.... Wait...
Stop acting like you don't know anything you're still my manager."

Aditi laughed out loud. Her attempt of seeming oblivious lasted less than a second.

"Did you book a ticket. It's players only isn't it?" she asked.

"Why would I ask you to come if I hadn't?"

Aditi stared at him smiling smugly before speaking, "I have a feeling things aren't the best between you and Shubman. And you asked me to come to compensate for him."

"Stop with that already." Ishan laughed out loud. Although he didn't deny it.

..

Shubman was practicing in the nets. It wasn't an actual practice session it was just him along with the guy tossing him balls. He didn't miss a single one. Hitting them more aggressively each time. He seemed mad.

Again he was doing something anyone inside his head could guess.

Yes he was avoiding thinking.

"That's enough I'm done for the day" he suddenly said while panting. He lifted up his shirt to wipe his face.

"Thanks dada you're the best" a little gesture. He always made sure people around him felt appreciated.

He quickly packed everything and threw them in his car trunk. He was pacing really fast and he couldn't tell why. He felt like he needed to hurry. But for what?

As he drove home that's where it hit him. He still hadn't packed for the trip tomorrow. And he had less than 24 hours left to board the plane. Things were slipping from his mind.

He groaned in frustration. Everything was so messy right now. Inside and outside his head.

"Okay okay okay i got this I got this I got this" he kept repeating that sentence like a mantra. He still didn't know what was making him tick.

Yeah he's still bad at regulating his emotions and thoughts.

He had already ripped the skin around his nails several times before. Now it was bleeding. He didn't even realise it until it actually sting.

He hissed in pain and sucked on the blood that came out.

"Fucking hell.."

He felt annoyed as he now had to make another stop before reaching the hotel.

It was a pharmacy. And it wasn't just for bandaids.

One thing Shubman never forgot was carrying his prescription. It was always in his wallet.

It was a medication prescription for his anxiety.

He hadn't told anyone about this. Not even his family or Ishan. He felt it was "too loser" of him to survive off of medication for something everyone deals with to a certain level. So he kept it to himself.

He sat in his car and rubbed his hands against each other. He stared at the bottle filled with pills for half a minute before popping 3 of them. He was still hyperventilating. On the verge of having an anxiety attack.

He rolled down the window and rested his head against the frame and closed his eyes while regulating his breathing

The thing with these meds is that they make you sleepy. And he took more than one.

He knew if he didn't move his head from that frame for two more minutes he would fall asleep and would wake up 7 hours before the flight. He couldn't afford that.

He picked up his phone to call someone. He picked up his phone to call Ishan.

He managed to touch his phone a few times and call Ishan.

..

"You might wanna pick that up"

Ishan looked at the screen for a few seconds before he decided not to pick that up.

˖  ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

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Uhmmm hi how are y'all. Also happy birthday to Ishan. I was wondering why no one wished him.

Also what the hell Hardik and Natasha???? I mean i saw it coming but it just looks sad now. I hope both of them get better ://

Also i wanna ask around what time do y'all usually open this app?  because I'm tryna adapt accordingly.

Like around what time would y'all like seeing my update notification 🤪(serious answers pls)

I'm thinking Friday nights are great I'm gonna stick to a schedule.