Undivided Attention [Ishman]

Chapter 7

The next day. And the days after that.. went slightly aloof if not completely cold.

Shubman kept trying to talk things out and apologise for what he did but Ishan didn't miss a single chance to avoid him. He was reticent. He did everything in his power to avoid confronting Shubman.

It was the last thing he wanted. And it was the only thing Shubman wanted to happen.

"I wish he'd just scold me and get it over with."

"What?" asked Abhishek.

Shubman who was laying down curled up uncomfortably on the sofa turned around and said,

"How do you apologise to someone who keeps avoiding you?"

"Who's avoiding you?"

"I kissed someone.. on accident."

"So what that's not a big deal is it?" said Abhishek.

"No you're not getting it.. it was someone close and i think they are uncomfortable now.." Shubman sulked and his tone was tense as he ranted.

"Well did you atleast ask them first? Also why are we using gender neutral pronouns?" Abhishek enquired.

"No i did not.." Shubman slouched clearly repenting the fuckery he pulled the other day. He's an impulsive and sometimes an indecisive guy. He would need other people to help him with decision making. When he does it himself it's usually.. not well thought enough.

In the heat of the moment the idea of every action having consequences didn't even cross his mind. And now he's guilty.

"Bruh. Is that what was up your ass the past few days?"

"You're not being helpful" Shubman got up. As he was leaving he paused for a moment when Abhishek said, "You have to apologise."

Shubman turned around.

"Don't care about the how or when. You got this and you know that."

Shubman nodded at Abhishek with a faint smile before leaving.

'I swear this fucker used 'he' in the first sentence', Abhishek thought.

He had made up his mind. He will do it now. Everytime he said "I'm sorry" to Ishan or atleast tried to, he would always get countered by Ishan's dry and uninterested responses. Their conversations had reduced to small talks and this made both of them drift further and further away from closure.

And Ishan.. he was scared. He didn't know why or what he was scared of. But he was jittery nonetheless. He didn't want to end things with his best friend but at the same time he was afraid of confronting the situation. Confronting Shubman and himself. So he did what he found easy to do. He avoided everything.

He didn't want to think about how that kiss really made him feel. He found it difficult to come to terms with well mostly because... He didn't hate it as much he was supposed to. He wasn't homophobic and was pretty open minded too but the idea of him being gay and not knowing it all along was pretty.. weird to him.

"I don't know myself anymore" he sighed as he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He felt conflicted about the entire situation. He was about to get out of the bathroom until he heard the room's door open and close.

It was Shubman.

He saw the bathroom's light on and assumed Ishan was inside. He stood infront of the door.

Ishan who knew it was Shubman, didn't want to come out until he left. And Shubman could tell what he was up to.

"You don't have to come out. This is probably the best way I can do this" He spoke out loud.

"Just listen to me."

"..." Ishan still didn't say a word. Though he felt slightly relieved that he didn't have to face him.

"I'm sorry Ishan. I put you in that situation." Shubman continued talking. With no response it looked like he was talking to himself.

"I know why you've been avoiding me please just let me make it up to you. That day.. I just wasn't thinking straight. I knew what I was doing but I was just too.. impulsive. I know nothing I say now justifies what I did but at that time I didn't think of anything else I just wanted you-"

The door suddenly opened. Shubman who was leaning against the door, almost fell onto Ishan. He grabbed the door frame and Ishan grabbed him. They both chuckled.

"I'm sorry too"

"You should be the last person apologising bro plea-"

"I avoided you. I'm sorry" Ishan spoke.

"Well yeah I know you enough to expect that."

"Thanks for putting up with it" Ishan spoke.

"Bro how low is your self esteem? Why are you thanking ME for making it up for something that I CLEARLY DID."

Ishan looked up at Shubman. He smiled slightly. He knew what his friend said was true. He did struggle with a low self esteem.

"But Shubman" Ishan spoke after a while.

"Yeah?"

"Why the fuck did you kiss me though?" Now that he was able to talk Ishan felt like confronting him.

"Uhhh well, I don't know if I'm honest you just looked hot..? I guess? And we were drunk..? There's nothing more to it really. I am so sorry bro I shouldn't have-"

"Yeah yeah just shut up with the sorries now."

"Sorry"

Ishan gave Shubman a slight grimace. He then spoke,

"So that was just a drunk makeout session? That's it.?"

"Yes that's it." Shubman summarised.

"And we are not gay..?"

"I don't know about you but I might swing both ways." Shubman spoke casually. As if he didn't just reveal the biggest secret about himself.

"Wait what?? Actually??? Like for real?" Ishan mouth was wide open.

"Yeah sometimes I feel like that. Although I don't really know I don't care about labelling it either. Sex is a spectrum. Right bro?"

"Why didn't you tell me before???" Ishan asked.

"Didn't think of it as a big deal. Why do you wanna test it?" Shubman smirked at him. His smirk dropped before he spoke again,

"With permission ofcourse this ti-"

"Dude no ew" said Ishan.

"So you're homophobic now."

"What no??? Just gillphobic." Ishan burst out laughing at his own dumb joke.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny now check this out."

Before Ishan could stop laughing he got picked up by Shubman and body slammed on the bed.

Well it's WWE now. Ofcourse they are fighting on their shared bed. How usually men in their mid twenties would.

They were finally in their comfort place but they both knew there were still some underlying things they were avoiding. There was still some tension.

˖  ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

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Big chapter today. Goodnight y'all love you guys. Also pls honest reviews it be helping me. <3