If I Had You

Chapter X

Tauriel POV

They were gone.

That was the only real thought I could process. Legolases friends, no, my friends, had died. Right in front of me, too. I'd been horrible to Arwen, and then even to Aragorn by extension. And now they both lay dead, hands clasped, almost floating in their own blood. The sight made me want to scream and release all my pent up pain and anger. Why did this world have to be so cruel, so savage and diabolical? When would, if it ever would, this pain finally end?

And they weren't the only ones gone, either. Bodies lay everywhere, crippled and locked in deaths grasps forever now. Some were men, a few orcs and goblins and other creatures scattered between them, but most were elves. Most were kin. I felt like violently throwing up whenever my eyes happened to glance at one of their lifeless bodies. To make matters worse, I'd been the one who'd delivered many of them into deaths grasps.

Shuddering, I force myself to turn away and focus on the others. Save Legolas, everyone else, including myself, was fine spare a few scratches here and there. I breath a gentle sigh of relief, and allow myself to be at least thankful for that. Now if only they had...

Stop

I have no choice but to turn back to the bodies as my feeling burst like a dam onto my expression. They were gone, I hadn't saved everyone...And I was going to have to accept that and move on.

Acceptance seemed impossible, though. And I hadn't had a very good track record with dealing with grief. I'd been constantly thinking about Kili's untimely death up until recently. Up until recently? It suddenly dawns on me that I hadn't given much thought to the dead dwarf. Why? One name pops into my mind.

Legolas.

A smile turns my lips up as I think his name. Legolas. What a beautiful name. He'd been with me through this entire ordeal, even though he faced almost certain death. He'd disobeyed his father, which had ultimately ended in his banishment, and joined me in secret on my doomed quest to Helm's Deep. He'd been there for me, with me, a true friend.

Maybe even, one day, more than a friend.

I turn to face him, knowing that our recent losses would hit him hard. After all, he'd lost his friends and his father all in the matter of an hour. The thought makes me want to cry. Why did we have to endure so much pain?

His face is, as one would guess, gripped in a deep state of sorrow and desolation. He stood, still, eyes lifeless and glancing out over the dead. He gripped his bow tightly and nodded his head slightly as Gimli stood, trying to comfort him. Oh Legolas, I wish I could help with your pain. I take a few steps to approach him slowly, only now noticing how cold the air had turned. Huffs of air suddenly turned visible, and I shiver intensely. The dark, cloudy sky only mirrored the tone of this place. It would be safe to conclude that this house, so to speak, would never feel like home again. I couldn't figure out why Thranduil would do this to his own home, his own people, his own son...

"Legolas," I whisper as I approach him. My voice sounds empty, full of grief and woe.

"Tauriel," he says back, trying to smile through the pain. By contrast he sounds more mournful, while I just sound unhappy.

"We should get you to a healer, your wound needs attention." I say. I try and be emotionless, logical, but instead sound as if I'm about to endlessly burst into a reign of tears.

"Sounds like a plan," he says. "But we need to go after Thranduil. He's still out there with that wretch Sauromon, and there's no telling what they'll do with that colossal army of theirs. Finding and stopping whatever they plan is our first priority."