The Punk and the Ballerina

Too Cool

Sebastian's point of view. August 2005.

My shift at Best Buy stretched on for hours. All the rich people buying the most expensive electronics and never buying a warranty. It was the people that were looking for the latest metal albums that made my job bearable. Every month or so, a group of middle school boys would come in looking for the newest rock albums. They always remembered me and we would chat about the bands. Maybe there was hope for the future.

Jeremy worked with me and our friends would sometimes come in just to talk and hang out. Our boss didn't mind, she was a punk in her youth. She called the store a safe zone for us, especially since we had good music taste.

Jeremy and I clocked out and walked into the dark parking lot. I loved this time of night, I found it so peaceful, especially if nobody else was around, like I was entering a serene abyss. Jeremy sat in the driver's seat as I shuffled through his albums in the front seat. Jeremy just got his license and was borrowing his parents' car until he could buy one of his own. I finally settled on American Idiot, an album our gang kept on repeat.

"When do you think we can have practice again?" Jeremy asked.

Our first band practice with Mace was amazing. He was a natural and just what we needed for our band. Girls were already digging him, maybe that could work to our advantage.

"I'm gonna see if the theatre club needs help with music, so I'll let you know tomorrow," I said as I read the album pamphlet. I wanted to find opportunities to make music and thought the theatre club might need help with music. I didn't consider myself an actor, I just thought I could get more experience making music by branching out, leave no stone unturned.

"You gonna be some Shakespeare guy?" Jeremy chuckled. "I think they did one of his plays last year."

"Nah, I just want to know if there's gonna be any musicals I can help with." Like I would ever do a Shakespeare play, I couldn't understand a word of it, even if I wasn't dyslexic. Did people from that time actually talk like that? I bet they were so pompous.

We sang along to "Holiday" until Jeremy pulled up to my apartment. He didn't live far from me, always coming over to my house since fourth grade. We said our goodbyes as I headed towards my apartment. My apartment was connected to the other Section 8 apartments in the cul-da-sac. It wasn't a bad neighborhood, we were fortunate to live one of the better areas, given how high crime was in low income neighborhoods.

The bottom step creaked as I walked up to the door. The lights were off in the windows, Mom must've been sleeping. I crept inside, careful not to wake her. She was sleeping on the couch. She did that a lot, she liked waiting for me to come home but usually passed out before I made it back. The brown couch was worn out, I don't know how Mom could sleep so peacefully on it. One day I would buy her the best furniture in the fanciest house.

***

School dragged its ass, and it was only the second day. I had the urge to play guitar, I had a rhythm stuck in my head. I kept tapping my hand against my desk, hoping muscle memory would record my tune. My teacher giving me a stern, silent look to stop.

The bell rang, I made my way to the auditorium. The typical theatre kids were already there. And of course, her.

Ari.

I should've known princess would be here. She was like the fucking plague I couldn't avoid. The director, Mr. Stiltz gathered us around. He was also the English teacher, one of the few teachers that didn't hate me.

"Welcome everyone, I hope you all had a good summer," he smiled to us. "I see we have some returning faces, and some new ones."

We went around the room saying our names and a fun fact about ourselves. Typical ice breaker. I knew all the kids' names, I've known them my whole life.

"My name is Sebastian, and um...I'm left handed but can play the guitar ambidextrous."

Mr. Stiltz smiled at me. I felt like the elephant in the room everyone else was trying to ignore. I was on their turf and they didn't like it. Maybe it was a bad idea to come here.

"We're going to be doing an original play written by our own Ariana Townsend..."

Oh for fucks sake. Ari would be running the show, getting her way once again.

"Ari, why don't you tell everybody about your masterpiece?"

Masterpiece. No need to stroke her pretty ego, teach. If you insulted her, she'd probably break down and cry diamonds.

Ari cleared her throat. "It's called Dancing with My Demons, and it's inspired by my own personal issues that I hope others relate to."

This got my attention. What problems did she have? I glanced at her. The normally confident Ari appeared...nervous? Unsure?

I got so lost reading the script that I didn't hear the rest of what Mr. Stiltz was saying. Damn my dyslexia, it was taking me longer to read.

"Sebastian? You can go home," Mr. Stiltz snapped me out of my trance. "Auditions will be tomorrow."

"Oh, I was just wondering if you needed any music or a band," I offered.

"Maybe, we can talk about it. But it would be great if you would audition, I'd like to see more boy actors."

Fat chance. Like I would ever be some performing seal.

I sat in an empty seat in the auditorium as I continued to read the script. It was about a girl named Star that was pressured to be perfect. Her parents didn't understand her, her perfection being a demon she interacts with on stage. It finally ended with her contemplating suicide but left the ending unfinished. I didn't want to admit it, but Ari wrote a great play. Maybe she had some depth after all.

"You ready to laugh at me?" Ari startled me.

Any other time, I would have no problem putting her in her place, but her play was excellent. I had nothing to laugh at.

"No, I actually really like it. You're a good writer," I said, surprised that I was complimenting her.

She crossed her arms. "Why are you here, Sebastian?"

"I wanted to see if I could help with the music, maybe my band could help."

"It's not a musical and it's not punk," Ari shook her head. "You used to say theatre was for nerds and you were too cool for it."

I did say that, for several years. Maybe I was wrong. Sweeney Todd was a musical, the Rocky Horror Picture Show was a musical. I think I had such a negative attitude towards it because of Ari. But now I was having a change of heart.

"Well maybe I'm the one that can make it cool," I said with a wink before I left.

There was nothing wrong with being spiteful. If Ari Townsend didn't want me in the play, that was a great reason for me to do it. I was more than some skater punk, I was going to prove to everyone that I could perform theatre.