The Punk and the Ballerina

Mood Ring

Ari's point of view. December 2005.

Two months of being together. We celebrated Sebastian's 15th birthday on December 5th, I bought him a few band t-shirts that he wears proudly. He gave me his old, bleached stained shirts to sleep in, they smelled like him. My recital was coming up. Sebastian had been watching me at practice once my mom stopped patrolling me. I was scared Madam Dubois was going to snitch to my mom, but she did the opposite.

"I know what it's like to be young and in love," she said then she looked away sorrowfully. "Sometimes I wish I would've chosen love over dancing."

I never forgot that.

It was getting harder to sneak around from my parents, but school and dance practice served as my escapes. Bianca was starting volleyball soon and would need to be taken and picked up from practices, so that would buy us some time. Lily was still finding her niche, but it was fun watching her explore what she liked and what didn't interest her. I had great sisters and they both deserved their own praise and identities. They were going to be successful with or without our mother's attention.

***

It was the night of my recital. Sebastian was wearing his hood up and sitting in the back of the auditorium so my parents wouldn't see him. I felt better knowing he was cheering me on. I danced the best I ever did, I was in love with dancing again. I was already thinking of new routines I wanted to choreograph, some of them including rock music.

Andy caught me as I jumped into his arms during our Dirty Dancing number. In the air, my eyes locked with only one person's. I could still find him in the dark, back row. Maybe this is what a connection felt like, finding and sensing each other in the dark.

***

I was able to stay at Sebastian's house for New Years. I told my parents I was staying at Mali's house, even though I hadn't spoken to her since our fight in the cafeteria. What my parents didn't know, wouldn't hurt me. Parker and his parents drove us to the party. Parker finally ditched them not long after I did. Turns out he fit in just fine with our new clique. At the party, I made everyone promise to not post any pictures of me on MySpace, I was being careful to cover my tracks.

Sebastian's mother was there at the party. She was fun to hang out with, like she was one of us, laughing at our immature jokes. She made pizza rolls, had lots of snacks, candy, and soda for us. We all danced and sang along to music blasting from their iTunes library, a mixture of dance, pop, and rock tunes.

"Everytime We Touch" by Cascada was my favorite song that year. I used to love it because it was great to dance to, but now it meant something different, something deeper. Sebastian danced with me to the song, his sweet embrace and cologne engulfing me. The cheesy lyrics made me think of him.

"Your arms are my castle

Your heart is my sky,

They wipe away tears that I cry.

The good and the bad times

We've been through them all,

You make me rise when I fall..."

Kissing Sebastian was magic. I could finally kiss him in front of his friends without the threat of us being caught. Parker took tons of pictures with Natasha and Kelly. Everyone had 2006 necklaces and cardboard glasses. 2005 proved to be a good year, but I was excited to see what 2006 brought in, especially if Sebastian was going in with me.

We all sat around talking about our favorite moments from the year. Kelly's and Cody's were still being together (cute), Mace's was joining the band, Jeremy's was the band's first show, Natasha's was getting her braces off, Parker's was coming out to his parents (they knew for awhile), then it was Sebastian's turn.

"My favorite moment of 2005 was joining the theatre club. I never knew I loved acting...and it led me to an amazing girl," he blushed before kissing my cheek.

"My favorite moment was Halloween night when Sebastian rescued me from that creep and I realized I was in love with him."

Everyone aw-ed us.

Jeremy put his arms around Mace and Parker. "These couples are making me sick, we need to cure our singleness."

Parker nodded. "You got a twin brother?"

Jeremy nearly choked on his Mountain Dew with all of us laughing. "Trust me, I'm not your type."

Natasha piped up. "My cousin's bisexual if you're interested."

"Get it, Parker," Cody pumped his fist in the air.

"Well one out of three ain't bad," Kelly summarized. "2006 will be getting these three dudes love."

We had minutes to go before the ball dropped in New York on television. I thought about in just two short years, I would be in New York watching the ball drop in person. It was exciting, but then a hallow feeling hit me. Where would Sebastian and I be? Maybe he could move to New York with me, maybe the band will go too. I bet they would be popular there, maybe they could play at the New Years Eve broadcast. I would be there front row watching and rocking out.

My fantasies almost made me miss Sebastian lightly shaking me. He took me to the hallway. He looked nervous, his hands fidgeting in his pockets.

"I wanted to give you this as a late Christmas present," he handed me a small box. I opened it and inside it was an adorable butterfly mood ring. Weeks ago, I complimented his mother's butterfly toe ring, butterflies being my favorite animal. He remembered that small detail about me, it made me want to melt into a happy puddle.

"I love it!" I put it on my left pinky finger.

Relief washed over his face. "I was hoping you'd like it. It was only five dollars, I couldn't afford anything too flashy like you deserve—"

I put my finger to his lips. "Stop. I don't care about flash. I love this ring, it's so perfect. And that you put so much thought into it makes it more special."

He handed me the paper chart of the colors and the moods they represented. My butterfly's wings were bright green, almost matching his mossy eyes. The chart said green meant romantic, maybe it was accurate. I couldn't deny my feelings for him, especially if my body was putting them on display in my ring. I loved Sebastian and I wanted him to know.

"Romantic?" Sebastian asked shyly.

"I love you," I blurted out.

There was a dramatic beat for him to look at me. Did I say it too soon? Did he not love me back? Maybe I shouldn't have said it.

He took his hands in mine. "I love you too, Ari."

He loved me! Sebastian loved me! My anxious, scared heart now doing happy somersaults. Before we could kiss, Cody yelled for us.

"Love birds! Get your asses back in here! The ball is about to drop!"

We ran back into the living room as the giant clock counted down from ten. When the clocked finally hit one, we were kissing as our single friends cheered.

Happy new year indeed. My mood ring couldn't be anymore greener.