Chapter 59

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It's my fault. 

Everything's my fault.

Mama had a hard time because she loved me so much. And until now, she's still carrying the burden on her back. Everything happened because of me. I brought everything upon myself.

Kung sana hindi ko hinayaan ang sariling mahulog kay Ristan noon, hindi mangyayari ang lahat nang ito. Hindi sana mahihirapan si Mama, hindi sana miserable ang buhay ko ngayon. At hindi sana... napahamak si Angelus.

It was my fault. 

After learning about what happened, I found myself hyperventilating. Ang huli ko na lang naaalala ay ang gulat na tingin sa akin nina Neziah at Abel. After that, everything was already unclear.

Mayroon akong naaalalang pangyayari ngunit hindi ko sigurado kung totoo ba talaga iyon. I even think I met Angelus. But that's impossible. I don't think he can move, knowing that he's fatally injured. 

"Ari, you should eat. It's your last day here. Makakauwi ka na bukas," sa marahang boses ni Mama. 

Tulala ako sa kawalan. Ramdam ko ang panunuyo ng aking mga labi. I feel so weak. I don't want to eat or sleep. I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to rest. I don't want to feel good. 

I don't have the luxury of feeling anything nice knowing that Angelus got hurt because of me. I just can't... stomach to feel good when he's out there, hurt, and has lost something important.

"Hindi mo na rin kailangan uminom ng gamot, maliban na lang sa pain reliever at mood stabilizer mo. Do you want something? You can now eat anything."

Walang-wala ang nangyari kay Angelus sa mga nagawa niya. I know it wasn't enough to pay for his crimes. I am sure anyone who knows the dirt on his hands will think he deserves it. But I would never say or even think that he deserved what happened to him. 

He fucking infiltrated that place to rescue me. To save me. He was maimed for trying to reduce the injuries I might receive. How could I ever think that he deserved it? I'm so fucked up, but I couldn't care less. 

"Reina asked about you. She wanted to visit you, but since you're coming home tomorrow, doon ka na lang niya pupuntahan..." Unti-unting natigilan si Mama. 

It was probably because of the tears falling on my cheeks. Nanlabo ang aking paningin dahil sa mga luha. My lips quivered, and silent sobs erupted from there. I clenched my hands on my thighs.

"It's my fault. Angelus lost a—an eye because of me..." 

"Farida." Narinig ko ang mga papalapit na yapak ni Mama. 

𝐈𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐒𝐤𝐲 ✓Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon