Shelter

Chapter 13

The silence in the room was deafening.

What was this feeling? Why does he feel so betrayed all of a sudden? It was as if he chose his new family over him. He wanted Sungjae but not him. He wants to live with his wife, daughter, and son. But what about him? He always left him alone. Then why pretend to be happy to see him and to care about him? And God why does this hurt him so much? He was calm outside but A storm was raging inside him. He didn't know how to deal with this. He was just standing very still as if on a frozen river, whose surface would break if he made even the slightest movement.

Then his eyes fell on Sungjae. He was looking at him as if he was a bird whose wings had been broken as if he would break if he is touched. No, he wasn't that. He wasn't weak. Especially not when it comes to that sorry excuse of a father.

So he took a deep breath and went back to his room and sat on his bed. There's no point in being so dramatic standing like that as if something tragic happened. Eunkwang and Hyunsik would be arriving soon and he doesn't want to cause any scene.

Sungjae followed him silently. But he wished he didn't because he wants to be alone. He is not sure how long he can keep the facade up. Pretending that it was not hurting him. But Sungjae was being careful around him and not saying anything. Just being there for him silently. At Least that's the one thing that he can be glad for. Yes, he is really glad that Sungjae was with him and didn't leave him like his father. He wasn't sure what he would do if that was the case. Thank the heavens he was willing to stay. And he didn't have to force him. But he had to fight for him. Again. How many times did he have to fight the same battle? And how many times was he gonna hurt himself in the process? He really needs to learn how to not give a f*ck about their father.

"Hyung," he heard him say. Was it too early to think Sungaje was an understanding kid because he was staying silent? He looked up to see him standing near the bed. How long has he been standing there? Why doesn't he just sit?

"Do you need anything hyung? Water or anything?"

"No"

"Are you okay?" He sounded so guarded. Afraid to speak but also couldn't help but worry.

"Yes," he nodded.

"Really?? Are you really ok?"

"Yes, Sungjae I am okay"

"Okay," he said in a small voice. He looked as if he wanted to say more but was hesitating.

"You want to talk about it hyung?" He couldn't not talk for too long though. Yeah, that's his way of dealing with sorrow. Let it all out, unlike him who keeps everything in until it becomes unbearable.

"No." He replied. A very firm one.

Another few minutes passed by in silence.

"Hyung-"

"Sungjae, I know that you have so many questions. I will answer everything tomorrow. I promise. Just wait 1 more day."

"But-"

"Please," he begged him. He really was not in a state to talk. He was afraid he would not be rational if he said anything now.

"Ok. Want me to stay? Or go?"

"Whatever you want."

"Ok." Sungjae sat on the bed. Finally.

Changsub rested his back against the bed and tilted his head back and looked at the ceiling for so long now.