Shelter

chapter 15

It was 2 am

Yes again

Why does Sungjae always choose this particular time to sneak into Changsub's room?

Does he think Changsub will be half asleep so he can tell him whatever he wants without any interruptions? Or is it the time when he is enlightened?

Whatever may be the reason, he again chose 2 am to go to Changsub's room. But unlike last time, Changsub was not awake. He was sleeping facing the other side. Sungjae can see the blanket ready to fall on the floor if Changsub moves his leg even by an inch. He is sleeping and hugging the pillow.

Sungjae very quietly made his way across the room from the door to the bed and laid down next to him. He stayed still for some time to see if he would wake up due to the movement on the bed. But he did not. Then he slowly wrapped his arm around Changsub's waist and hugged him from the back. He stayed still again to see if he woke up, but he did not.

Then he let out a long breath. He was so tense to enter his room again after being asked to get out earlier.

He didn't know what he should say to Changsub. Not that he was awake anyway. But still. If not now then tomorrow. He has to get him to talk. He can't bear the feeling that the situation has gotten so bad that Changsub directly told him to stay away from him.

After his dad left, he should have just shut his mouth and let Changsub breathe. But he decided to probe further when the other was not in the state of mind to talk. It was not that he was not willing to talk, it's just he was not able to talk. Because, obviously what happened today was ... was.. unexpected and painful. He gets it now. He should have given him his space to breathe. But instead, he hurt him even more.

Changsub didn't cry when his dad hit him or even after that. But when Sungjae said he hates him, he just couldn't control it anymore. Tears pooled his eyes, it was just a split second when his expression changed from angry to hurt. Sungjae hurt him more than his father. And he wants to take back the words but now it's too late.

He is so sure that Changsub might have cried himself to sleep. And he felt so bad thinking about that. And When he was unconscious and lying on the hospital bed, he realized how important he is to him. No matter what, he can never hate him. Who is he kidding, hate doesn't even come into the picture, he loves his brother so much. He was so scared when Changsub was not waking up, not even when the doctors tried, he never felt so helpless, alone, lost, and scared in his entire life before.

It doesn't matter what the truth is, even if he is really not his brother, he doesn't care. He loves Changsub more than that. He promised himself that he would never ever hurt him again.

He was so lost in his thoughts that he was startled when Changsub turned to face him. Wasn't he asleep? And the blanket finally fell on the floor.

"What are you doing here?" He asked but there was no hostility in his voice but it was groggy because well it was the middle of the night and he just woke up.

Though Sungjae was startled, he kept his eyes closed pretending to be asleep.

"Sungjae..."

Nope, he is sleeping and he won't respond. He won't even move. But he couldn't stop those stupid tears.

"I know you are not asleep. I can see you crying." Changsub said and cupped Sungjae's face with his hand and pressed a thumb on the juncture of his eyes and nose, as if that would stop the tears.

Sungjae flinched at the touch but still didn't want to face him. So he kept his act of sleeping.

"Stop it Sungjae-ya." he sounded so tired