He loved her, but he couldn't have her...
What did he love about her?
Everything?
Was that an answer?
Her red locks. They were always something fascinating to look at. In any form, in any style, her deep red hair was always beautiful. Especially when it's wild and free. It just showed the real Jana. Her inner wolf.
Making it easy to spot and find her because she stood out with it. Yes, Matei loved that. The fact that she stood out a lot.
What else was there?
Her eyes?
Was that too cheesy to go to next?
Her eyes were brown yet simple. They looked like warm chocolate hot cocoa tea. Bright and firey in the daytime and soft and warm at night. They were welcoming and kind, and he could most certainly stare in them all day (if given the chance).
Her smile. Yes, of course! Matei could mentally pick out a photo from his brain recalling the many smiles that girl brought into his life. Everything was perfectly fine once he saw it, resting upon her face. The world could be ending and in chaos, and it'd still be his last thought. Because to him, that smile meant everything. From the way a slight dimple might come about as the corners of her lips shine upward. And her toothy grin brightening in all its glory. Sure as hell his heart would race over something so small yet incredibly significant to him.
And it's true that he not only likes what's seen on the outside but of course what beams through from the inside. Her personality. Of course, apart from being a brave and loyal trustworthy alpha.
Jana was still just a child at heart. She shows happiness she's kind, loyal, and caring. Jana could be angry or upset. Trust that an angry Jana is obviously a scary one. Yet she sticks with her pack, her family. Always putting as her top priority. But there's also broken parts that even Matei adores. When she's sad or even afraid. He just hates that she needs to cover it up with something brave and acts like everything's fine.
Oh, and how many times he's wished he could be there to reassure her that it was okay to be afraid or even show your weakness and vulnerability a few times. Those were things that made you strong. But they were always both busy, never having time for themselves. Matei deeply hated that fact.
But on another note, he highly admires her wolf side. From the red fur to the yellowed eyes and soft paws. He loved seeing the wolf jump and prance around on full moons all bubbly and giddy. And when she's running along with him, it's nothing short of freedom. So he always cherishes when her wolf cuddles up to him or even a simple nudge, playful bumping, and they'd go chasing each other in the never-ending forest.
He also loves when she's still up high on a rock and looking on the view of the moon. While the others were still chasing their days. He'd sit with her, and she'd always cuddle up with the darker shaded Wolfblood. And then she'd start howling, and he'd do it too until everyone came up on their rock all howling at the moon. Then, mid way from a few minutes, he'd not remember much but still wake up with Jana laying close to his chest, snoring soundly.
It was most definitely fun for her to be in his arms. But the rest of the pack didn't let this go and had it out for him all week. Never letting this down, while all throughout, Jana stood fine and didn't even seem like she remembered. Or maybe it never fazed her. But either way, it kept happening.
And back to it again, everything, he loved everything about her. Of course there was this haunting fact that he couldn't have her. 'Cause although he had plenty of reasons why he loved the young alpha, there were plenty of reasons stopping him from saying anything or even proving that they could ever be together.
Well, for one, there was time. While Matei had school, his sister and his wolf side to manage and juggle. It was nowhere near compared to Jana, who worked for Segolia, a shift at the Café, being an alpha, managing her pack while still having to be a part of the human world. Being a Wolfblood who had to protect herself, she had tasks and requirements all listed under these responsibilities and still had to keep their existence secret. They could never have time together, holding hands, going on dates, all of that couple stuff wouldn't be given a chance. And then there was this chance of putting them both in danger. For if they were seen and known to be together in both the human and Wolfblood world when danger comes for either of them it, their enemy could take advantage of it, to take either of the two for bait or weakness.
Placing the pack in jeopardy and with all the danger that comes running for these teens with added pressure on their alpha, would they even have a chance of being together? Being the least bit normal? Doing everything to make each other happy? Even through chaos?
As much as he'd certainly like to be positive or optimistic, he'd very much knew from the very beginning that he had no chance with the redheaded alpha female. TJ, Selena, and even Emilia could try and convince him, assuring and advising him to confess, but he's already mapped it out, thought it through. There's no way they could possibly be together. But maybe in another universe, under different circumstances, things could've been better. There might've been a slight chance. But there isn't. And he's accepted it. Soon but not now, there might be someone out there and for both of them. For her. Jana deserves better. Not him, but someone better. What does he love about her? Everything. But he can't have her, and she can't have him. A deafening fact.
