Magic Shop

Batch 2, Entry 1 (Signed With Love)

DO NOT READ THIS REVIEW IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE STORY AS IT WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!

Before I get started with my comments for character development, let me first thank you for applying! I appreciate you giving me a chance to try and help. I hope you are able to find some valuable insight in this!

Please keep in mind that what you are about to read is just my opinion and you don't have to agree with it. They are merely suggestions. After reading what you have posted of your book so far, I see that you are in the beginning stages of your book still, so I will try the best I can to help guide your character development.

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Character Development: Yoongi

In my head, based on the whole aspect of isolation mentioned in your description, I assume that Yoongi is standoffish at the beginning and has a Beauty and The Beast like transformation when he meets Ava Rose. If this sort of thing is the case, it's important that you really focus on three things that will help to flush Yoongi out as a relatable and likeable character.

This is where I will introduce my relatively crude graphic below! (My teaching days are coming back to me, I swear...)

You need to focus on what your character is:

Let me elaborate a bit more on what I mean.

Thinking: Yoongi sounds like he has a tragic background, having lost his parents in an accident at the age of eight. Not only has he lost his parents that were his whole world, but he has also lost his hearing. I think this gives you the unique ability to help readers connect with him even before the characters in the story by allowing us into his thoughts. I would suggest helping us as readers connect with him in that way so that we can feel for him and what he is going through. Readers will connect with your character if they can sympathize with him and that's exactly what you can do through his thoughts. This can also be accomplished by incorporating flashbacks. The thoughts that are going through his head should be realistic of the struggles that he is going through.

Feeling: This ties in with his thoughts. His thoughts are going to be fueled by how he is feeling. As readers we already know that Yoongi has physical and emotional trauma that he is going to have to deal with. You will want to make sure that when he is dwelling on his past or his trauma that it matches his thoughts. Giving us a glimpse at how he is feeling will make readers want to root for him. If you haven't already, I would suggest researching what life is like for a deaf person. This will help to add a layer of believability and authenticity to your character.

Doing: Actions are just as key as anything else when crafting a character. What they do based on how they think and how they feel is important. Make the characters actions be justified. It's kind of the same idea as when you write a research paper and have to have sources that back up your claims. For example, Yoongi may be standoffish from his trauma, but he might like to go to parties. This fact by itself will sound weird to readers, but if you explain it to be something like, he goes (something he does) to parties because it helps him to feel like he is part of a family once more, that makes more sense. Speaking of making sense, I hope what I'm saying makes sense. 🙈😂

All three of the facets that I mentioned above have to flow together in order for the character to feel real. Keep this in mind as you craft Yoongi in your story. Sometimes if I'm stuck on a character's motivations or thoughts, I do a mock interview with them in which I interview my character. I know it may sound like an odd exercise, but it can definitely help sometimes when you are faced with writer's block.

Some elements that I think could be fun to explore with your character are:

- His thoughts (as I mentioned above): Give us his sarcastic comments, his sad thoughts...anything that makes him feel real and relatable. (In other words, make me want to dig out the popcorn! 🍿😂).

- His transformation and comparing it to the blossoming of a flower: Okay, so this is not something you have to do. I just think it would be a unique and fun way to describe his Beauty and the Beast like transformation, especially since your gorgeous cover has flowers all over it. This sort of thing would give the flowers a reason to be on the cover.

- Significance of the cat/ringing bell: I know that his favorite toy when the accident happened was his cat, so I'm wondering if you will use that cat or bell collar for any symbolic purpose. You definitely have the opportunity to.

I think you have the start of a very interesting story so I'm eager to see where you take it. Please keep me posted about updates!

This is my first time doing something like this, so if you aren't fully satisfied or have questions, please feel free to ask me here: <---

Have a great day and thank you again for choosing the Magic Shop! 💜

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AN: I edited the graphic, but I don't own the original picture.